Let's sum up my break, even though it's not finished. Good. Crap. Good. Good. Crap. Crap. Crap. Okay. Crap. Great. Crap. Great. Crap. Each of those words is for every day starting from the 22nd. So, has it been good or bad? I'm lazy, you do the math. By a quick glance it's been alright.

Okay JOSH. Since you complain about my short, pointless entries, I will make a long one, just for you. Okay. So today started out with science, in which we tried to pass an electric current through an orange and i was repeatedly molested by Alex. Then we had gym, Crazy Saskatchewan, boring game. ANGELA JUST STOOD THERE WITH JILL WHEN SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO PICK UP THE BALL AND THROW IT AT HER!!! GEEZ! Then SS. Booorrring. Notes. Then Math. Booorrriinng. Lunch, went home alone and ate pizza, a grapefruit and some salami. Advisor (drama), was good, we are getting pretty good at our play, but DANA doesnt pay attention and shes really ditsy... then came ELA. boring. caught up on my reading. then.. art. borrrriing. I cannot draw hands. Haha but i accidentally called rebecca's pic of a cow a dog.. oopsies. Okay so my dad got mad at me when on my report card it said under 2 classes "Socializes too much in class." and he says that I don't socialize enough outside of school so i do it in school. It's not my fault non of my friends want to hang out with me, cept martika haha. But I did well, average went up 1.1% hehe. Now at 81.1. I got a 90 (!!) in art and an 88 in drama woo. 75 math, 70 ss, 86 ela, 84 or something i science, 84 in gym and 75 in my last advisor. hehhhhhe martika is on the phone =)))))))) she wants to hang out (HAHAHHA WHAT DID I SAY~) anyway im gunna go, hang loose

Racecar is the same forward and backwards. A M Azing. I r boredededed again. But it's cold out today. Damn Nexopia. Lindsey is HARD! mmmm ;) Hang loose.

Borededed. I was forced to rake both lawns today, and still haven't been payed.. Kristen owes my mom 3 dollars cause the chick was stupid.... Gah it's only 4... 20! more! days! tomorrow will be 19! errrgggg... soo bored. i get to wear my new clothes tomorrow though.. that's good atleast... i think i may change my diary A BIT :P

As I sit here watching you I reflect on everything and think about what I am not doing and how I feel. And I cry I want to flee, I want to leave, but even though it’s hurting me I am enraptured. These poems that flow from my tears are reminders of how I feel inside, How things have gotten worse and That thing they call life is diminishing. I feel bad for these lyrics that flow, they are not doing any good, unless of course you like bad vibes, ‘tis time I take my leave to the dark areas of my mind. I think I shall stay a little bit longer but fight the urge to stare, and look into the light and go to those joyous things in my life, the few. You may still talk but say nothing that brings doubt to my mind for then the lights will go out. ----------- Take me seriously I wasnt just making these up for the joy of it. I was crying when I said these. But no. Obviously it isnt that big of a Deal. I can find someone else, dont worry. One day I will and I will be happy and stuff. Yea sure I laugh all the time and joke and shit but do you think that's how I am ALL the time?? I am only like that when I am around people because I know people enjoy someone who makes them laugh and not someone who makes them sad.. if they care. None of you have seen me the way I am. I dont want you to. today I feel alone and I wish ler was here.. again

I havent made a post in almost a month! Holy moly. Going to a Toga party tonight, although I was invited out of pity ("Tessa you wanna come? So you're not left out" thanks) but whatevs. RIP Matthew Mckay. Jan 28 1990- Sep 30 2007 I think about you everyday. Harry is sick. Please let him get better.

I love life! I haven't been to one party this summer hahaha. I have been drunk though. Sweet. My summer was really good. Made a lot of money. Lots of Ben, but that's the way I like it. saw friends. this year is gonna be so good. I have such good classes. gonna actually TRY to make more friends so have better stuff to do all the time haha. STOOOOKED FOR THE END OF THE YEAR!!!

I went to Canmore with Ben for a night. It was absolutely amazing.

So today I got in an argument with Alex over Finger 11. It was good. He's awesome. I feel so needed, because Bob asked me to work tomorrow and I've never been asked to work there before :)

Justin came back!! YAY!! Today is his birthday and I don't think I will get to see him :( He came over early and we made pancakes and watched the office. Then I showered and we went to his house for abit. Then to Ikea. it was fun. I have to stop walking up the stairs to look at stuff haha. Then we went to his house and he made me pasta. It was very good. Then he dropped me off at home for a couple hours. Picked me up later and we saw Harry Potter in the IMAX! 3D! It was good. Then he came over and we started to watch a movie then fell asleep. I missed him!

Yeah, alright. So I don't even know how to explain it. And I don't like metaphors because they are lies. But I'm incredibly happy right now. In my life, everything. It's amazing. M: I'm so happy right now B: Me too M: I'm happier than you B: No you're not M: Why not? B: Because I'm JABBING YOU. (proceeds to jab me in the ribs) asshole.

Things are just amazing. Ben is amazing. The other night I could have had the best sex of my life if it wasn't for me being sick and us having to use condoms because of the antibiotics!! Fucker. It was still really great though. On saturday I fell in love with him all over again. We got free gum for kissing for the camera suckazzz. And free snocone cause Ben's jewish. Not much else has happened... he spent the night on thursday... it was nice. Yup. I miss JJ a lot

So yesterday I traveled to Edmonton with Jenn, Ang, and Jenn's mom Heather. It was good. I agree with Angela, there are no pretty people. And they are definitely much slower than people in calgary. Whyte ave is not even half as good as 17th ave. We stopped in a field of yellow and we most definitely DID turn yellow. But a spotty kind of yellow - not completely yellow. That would be strange, and I would have to support this statement with a photo of course. Who's gonna believe I'm actually yellow? Unless I have jaundice, which I don't. Anyway ben is here got to go

I think i shall watch a movie later tonight. I worked all week. I am sick, I have laryngitis. It's fucking sweeeeet. Ang and Jenn and JJ surprised me by showing up at my house with balloons and a sign saying happy birthday last saturday. It was amazing. I love them SO FUCKING MUCH YO. JJ and I got drrrunk the night before he left for euroland. He had to bike home. it was funny. not much else has happened... today i woke up and thought "I think I'll dye my hair" so i did.

I am so bored. Ben just ditched, but it's understandable since his parents just got home. I wonder when I'll see him again? He never seems to tell me. I really wanna work a full day tomorrow. I'm so bored with life. Ugh :S My stomach muscles hurt so much. man does that kid have unrealistic goals. he really never thinks things through. But whatever.

Ok so my birthday was deece. Um sunday night ben and i went to watch fireworks and went to Jubilations, it was good. He spent the night. Then we woke up had sexy shower time stuff umm. went to his house played vids. did some more stuff? i dont really remember watched the fireworks that night again. he was with me my whole birthDAY, all 24 hours of it. woo! my bday last year sucked balls. i remember that much about it. anyway now bens being a complete douchebag and working like crazy "sorry i have to work blah blah" like he doesnt even care if we see eachother. well whatever I just hope i see him friday. TALL LATTE! he makes it go one day at a time. "yo i work on tuesday this time till this time"..ok sweet. then he texts me at like, 10 tuesday night. I work tomorrow too cant hang out sorry!. texts me the next night. WORK TOMORROW TOO CANT HANG OUT SORRY. YOU KNOW NORMAL PEOPLE FIND OUT THEIR WEEKS SCHEDULE? CANT YOU DO THAT? he so clueless sometimes.

So last night was actually so much fun. Well yesterday in its entirety was. I wake up and get a call from Justin, asking if I wanna hang out? I say sure, and then he says he's coming over... Okay neato. He comes over, and I shower while he watches The Office. Then we biked to Chinook to check out longboards at Quicksilver and Skaters. Then we went back to my house. I get a call from Ben and he is coming over. Then the 3 of us went to subway and only ben and I ate. Then we drove justin to my house so he could get his bike and go home for a bit. Ben and I went and bought a PS2 for him cause he broke his. Then we go back to my house and chill for a bit. Then out to pickup Justin, and then to the grounds. Saw Finger Eleven. I didn't want to waste money on rides so we didn't do much after that. Drove justin home and ben came in for about 5 minutes then left. It was actually really wonderful. I love Ben so much.

Well. FUCK YOU is all I have to say about a lot of things right now.

awww people like meee *blush* it makes me feel loved! apparently tika's brother likes me. and evan always flirts with me!! aww. cute.

So grad was good I thought. It was sorta boring but I liked getting all dressed up and stuff. Ben looked soooooooooooooo good. alistair's a fucking idiot though. Tika's party was so good hahaha. Ben drops me off and I'm just about to go in the door when Tika opens it and FREAKS OUT!! She didn't think I was actually gonna stay haha. So drinking ensued. Not sure if I'm upset with myself, or happy with myself for talking to him. I sorta feel better. I love to hate, but I can't even remember why I hate him anymore. Whatever. Met some coooo people. Foreman's girlfriend had to be picked up by her parents, the cops and ambulance were there to see if she had alcohol poisoning. She didn't. She's ok. Some creepy old man was there. Ugh, haha. Soo foreman and I go to play some vids and we both passout on the couch then decide to move to the bed and crash there. Overall good night!!! HAPPY BIRFDAY TIKII