what if i were to simply end existence. complete nothingness is something the human mind has toruble ocmprehending. i wish i knew the feeling of no feeling. numb is truely a sensation i can feel throughout my body therefore it is not sufficient. try thinking about nothingness i mean true nothingness. is black not something? if pain is gone so is enjoyment without sad there is no happy there is nothing, i wish to experience this nothingness. one of the first religions to make waves throughout the world held the belief that in death people wandered hopelessly through an infinite darkness with no air. i control something you dont try cocaine, invigorating is an understatement. i thoroughly believe that instead of marijuana being a gateway drug, DARE and things of the such are the gateway. after filling our heads with this nonsense of death and decay on all drug basis we try our first drinks of alcohol which has little to no effect, maybe we get drunk a little dizzy kind of sick so you sleep it off. what next a cigarette? nothing but a cough and then suddenly you enjoy it. then someday sitting in a basement with your friends you decide to take a hit off the shady looking paper cone filled with what else? marijuana. so you do this you do it again and again and what you are high, you feel warm and loving you feel grounded in this world and the others next to us. so later on upon becoming your normal non high self you begin to think. they said i would get lung cancer, they said i would forget math, they said i would be kept out of the group, they said this would be bad...and you kno that it isn't good for you but more importantly you know that they lied to you that they said all these lies and then this little tiny voice...way back in there pipes up and what does it say? they are not infallible... so now what does the mind do. it has changed so it cannot return to what it once thought and concidered to be the truth now you have to do what truely makes a person what they are in this life....they have to decide.