i need to vent so deal, read or don't read. you've been warned fuck this....i can not honestly take much more of this. Figures i get one semi normal entry in and im already going to whine like a little baby. I DONT CARE I FEEL LIKE IT. im sixteen i'm not ready for all of this. thelove of my life is going to get over me soon and i can tell. i'm sorry dixie but im an asshole. i'm coldand im distant to you even though at night my heart screams out for you. i don't know what to say anymore, the thought of growing old and what not has faded into dust. I feel i've lost you already when the truth is i know it will not happen for awhile longer but it will happen. you'll find someone more permanent then me. im not ready for all this im not fucking ready, my parents have never been this bad never been so abusive as now never spit in my face and berrated me. I hate it all, i've never cut so deep, i haven't cut in as long as i can remember but i did today just to get my mind off of so much pointless shit. I need to get away i need to run i need to leave, but i can't. i wantmy drugs back they made me sharp they took me outta here they let me see the world again. i miss them and i want them back. i want sex to wtf happened to SEX i used to be a fucking whore and i dont care i want it all back i wnat my life back i've got years and it feels like it's already over it feels like everything has ended. Why is it that when i was a heathen when i was all these horrible thingsin the eyes of society things were ok, they had downfalls but mostly ok. now when im in love, when things were going ok when i was getting therapy and doing all the right things and now im dying, i lost my love, my parents are abusive and everything is just fucking up. im done whining, i'll stop being pathetic, and if neone thinks it's gross, or uncouthe to put this slobbering emo bullshit up on my diary tell me and i will promptly delete it. Farewell