It's been awhile sense i've updated, and i kno i made my rant about nerses not being here anymore but the truth is i woul dnever have any intention of truely leaving diaries. I just wrote in other ones instead of sitd, but i miss it here, this has always been my favorite diary ever. And this is what i have to write, this is what i have to say that doesn't go to people around me I'm dying... I have a brain tumor...can you believe it? a guy who hates soap oerhas so vehemently has a fucking brain tumor. Pounding headaches have been comming and going and causing me some pretty horrid days. Speech and hearing skills have been failing randomly as well. Doctors rushed me through tests one day while i had a ceisure in a god damn office. fuckers thought i had just migraines... The truth is i don't mind that much, they say i have roughly a year, maybe more if i keep up with all the shit they wantme to do, there are surgerys and all taht jazz to go along with it to. oh yay, i get to lose my hair. No one is for sure though no one has a damn clue. Half of um say i won't make it, surgery is pointless, the other half say surgery is the only think that'll save me. Either way i'm screwed. I get teh surgey then my parents pay and they go down a shit creek, and i get kicked out to die, they dont pay i deal i die. so to all of you who have been wondering ... why i've been so distant that is why. I've been going through every time i've hurt someone, or been hurt, or done something cruel, and without looking evil i'm beginning to realise i wasn't a bad person...i wasn't a bad person....i wasn't a bad person...i have to chant that a lot to keep the tears away. i'll keep on writing in this diary from now until i dont have computer access. I will NOT keep people posted on my condition, not on this diary at least, if you wanna know get to know me the person not me the blindpoet. this diary has made me happy more times then anyone really knows, and i'll keep writing about love interests, sexual trists and the good and bad times..just no diseases ok folks. Right now though i want to take a moment and say something public, and something special, to an extremely special girl in my life. imperfection...or dixie....is by far one of the best girls i've ever met. I love her with all my heart, and she's depressed because i've been distant lately, like sudeenly we're a million miles away. Which actually is kinda of true, we live in different states. We're in love though, or we were...i dont know how we are now. Either way it's my fault and i take full blame for this current situation. I just wanted everyone to know at once, i told my friends and lovers today and i'm posting it here as well. I'm so sorry dixie.....I want to be close again, it's just an extremely concious moment when they say those words, and it's been hard not to be a bit...drifty. Finally i love you all haha, seriously it's true, this diary has brought out so much in me it's impossible to count. Like i said i'm going to keep writing, happy things to. So until next time, c ya later guys...

Your Love Style is Agape

You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner. Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare. You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie. Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you. For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.