my feet are killing me. but i still like MickeyD's better than whataburger or dairy queen, i don't have to run the store here, whoo-hoo! ^_^ *dance dance dance* why yes, that *is* a furby reference... me and my roommate at the time and long distance best friend (sigh, they all are right now... ;_;)got a furby when they were the cool toy. this crazy guy we knew worked at walmart and he'd hidden a whole box of'm away in the store and was reserving them for friends/buying them himself as collector's items. anyway, so i dropped the cash and we left with one of the truly strangest toys of all time ever. Which reminds me of one of the reasons I enjoy work so much. I realized it just now, as I sat down to the computer. I’m surrounded by women at work. I’ll be blunt: I’m *not* a “man’s man” in fact, most men are strangely threatened by me, or blow me off completely for a flake. Give me a room full of women and, I dunno, I just feel… relaxed. I think I’m just being/feeling desperate/romantic/lonely and being unreasonably starry eyed, but still. I do like work because there aren’t many guys I have to deal with. And here we come to the crux of so many of my bemoanings. I reject my sex—not my being male, but my association with others of my, uh, species—oh whatever, I’m just pissy. I’m gonna use names for all these people from now on, public be damned. You know the best “I’m feeling sorry for myself and want something to help me mope” album of all time? Beck’s ‘Sea Change.’ The freakin’ crackmonkey gets his heart broken and puts out one of the best albums of all time, moaning and brooding the whole way and is totally unlike anything else he’s ever done. I don’t think I remember hearing any of it on the radio at all. No surprise, he’s all abstract and deep or direct and bleeding. Real good shoe-studying stuff. “Real good,” I can’t ever freaking write anymore. Anyway, got it about the time my fiancé and I broke up and it’s just been priceless to me since, and I like Beck anyway. Coolidge once said “Press on. Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing in the world is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.” See, that’d be an incredibly inspiring quote if I wasn’t the things he’s talking about, I’m unsuccessful talent, I’m unrewarded genius, I’m an educated derelict. I know how pompous that sounds, but how do you deal with the feeling of pending success with the immense bulk of nothing that is my life right now? I’ve heard driven people talk about their inspirations and motivations and, I don’t share that. My ex, j*, always blew me away with her incredible sense of…destiny I guess. You could (still can) practically feel it blowing out of her. Am I just being childish? Am I clinging to the last of my childhood—that inexplicable selfishness that children have, hurting everyone else, including themselves just to please themselves right now? Am I just staying up late listening to too many navel-lint philosophers? Will Bat-Man save Robin in time?! Find out the answers to these questions and more, same Bat-time, same Bat-channel! 42. the answer. it’s 42. now we need the question…