There’s a tryout, basically, tomorrow. Singer/songwriter competition and the winner gets to perform at the Kerrville folk festival. I know this sounds very backwoods, and I’m sure a good amount of the music at the actual festival is, but it would be pretty nifty to try out. I’m not going to, however. Reality check: I don’t have the confidence. That and I haven’t touched my guitar in…well, pretty much the whole semester. So I’m rather majorly rusty considering I’ve only played sparsely before that. I wonder if that segment in my life is over. I hope not, I enjoy guitar, even if I’m not any good and never play. You know, I got 80 bucks from book buybacks, I ought to haul around to the various pawnshops in town and see if I can pick up a crappo acoustic, that’s really what I want. I have my nifty acoustic/electric, but it feels like such a waste just banging away on it like I do. I don’t even know what I’d perform. I have this sappy wishful/hopeless love song thingy, but I don’t think I’d do that one. I guess I could do nothingman, but I really don’t feel like I’ve hammered out all the kinks. I have an excuse for all of them. But it comes down to confidence. Much as I love my sister, and seriously, much as I bitch about her, she is so sweet I could do so much worse than her so easily, she is of the same musical cut as my dad: guitars aren’t music. I don’t debate or fight with them anymore over this. Tho it still makes me want to tie them to a chair and then run them thru the gauntlet of possible things that can be done with the instrument. We’d start with jimmy Hendrix and eventually end with the nirvana unplugged album, ears pried open ala clockwork orange. Meh. I feel like my songs are too simple, like they’re the sort of thing only I want to listen to, and my musical tastes are so…weird when I talk to other people. I mean, we listen to the same things, but no one else hears whatever the heck it is I hear. If I did a song, and there’s no guarantee I’d only do one, then I’d be in trouble, particularly if I had to do like, three, four forget it. They wouldn’t do four, then you’re an opening act for somebody, lol. Might be nice to go and listen tho. We’re allowed one “musical accompanist”, and I figure everyone else will have a bass or drums or whatever to help out, and once again it’d be half-crazy bleeding heart me spilling of the stool crushing my guitar. Think I’m gonna go get that acoustic tho, assuming I remember in the morning when I wake up. I’m only gonna waste it on video games if I don’t anyway. I think I think I think I have acoustic strings *somewhere* which probably means I’ve already lost them. Besides, I’m not sure I’d want to get up there with an unfamiliar instrument anyway. So I’d use my elec/acc, which I’ve never been quite sure of the sound on. I’m not sure if it’s one of those instruments that needs some level of effect or if it’s like my strat and just fine as a bare tone. You know, I’m not even sure I know where this place is I have to go to sign up. I should really do it, just for the experience. I’ll be the weird awkward bad performance wedged between pompous self-inflated pseudo-geniuses but I don’t think I can do it. But I really should. I had a nice voice, I’ve been screaming along to the radio for too long and have lost a lot of my range. I’m back down to about an octave, used to have around under three. Wah wah wah, cry about things I don’t do to change. Shave off, spacemonkeys. I think I will get that guitar, tho.