I never say I'm sorry. It’s weak. It’s repulsive. It’s admitting defeat. It’s admitting your wrong. All it says is that what you said or did was a lapse in mind, where you weren’t really yourself. An apology is just words. But day after day I find myself thinking, and while I think I always come to this one conclusion. I'm sorry. There I said, I dare not speak it again. I don't think I can bare anymore thoughts of what could have been. I could be with you right now, as I write this. We could be together, as one, no sad times, nothing wrong, just us, as we sit together in solitude. But we cant ever, I don't think, be together. And it was all my fault, and I'm sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you, I just didn’t want to hurt myself. It was really hard to finally accept that you could want me, after years of me pining for you. But with those years full of hate and rejection, I couldn’t bring myself to fall in love with you. But what a fool I was. How could I not love you then? I was stupid then, but I am not now. I do not love anyone anymore. Not after you. It was too hard to love you and let you go. I never want to do that again. So I pushed you away. Told you I couldn’t love you, told you I wouldn’t ever love you. I told you, I told you lies. I told you what ever I could to make you leave. To make you forget me so that I couldn’t hurt you anymore. You said I didn’t hurt you, but that hurt me, which seemed to hurt you. So I stopped feeling, just so you can be happy. And I hope you are happy, with your new girl. I really hope that your as happy as I'm pretending. How many more times do I have to say I'm sorry before I can forgive myself for hurting you? Oh, by the way, I still love you, and I'll always be sorry.