It's four a.m. and I sit here awake, again.I know I should sleep. I know I could sleep. If I really wanted to. But do I really want to? There’s some thing really calming in the way the computer hums and drives me into a semi-hypnotic state where what I read is real. Or as real as it can get. It’s four a.m, and Beast is sleeping on the couch again. He was there last night, and the night before, and the night before that too. Mother sleeps in her new king size bed all by herself on the left side, with seeming miles to the other side. But that doesn't matter to you does it? No, it really doesn't. You don't have to speak with him, so your content, while its ripping me to shreds. Is this how a proper relationship should be? Is this why I don't participate in the dating rituals? You lie there, you monstrous Beast, a fat heap of nothing with the heat turned low and the fan on high. My hair blows in the wind and I shiver and shake, but it doesn't matter to you because you’re asleep. Of course you’re asleep, what else would one be doing at four in the morning? Hmmmm, this entry was pointless, probably like the others. But what else can I do at such an hour? Beast told me to go to bed for it was late and I have to go to school tomorrow, during our day off. But, he didn't really care about my well being, he is now asleep. But really, what else could you expect from some one at such an hour? My barbies have all melted And my fish tank has turned green My hamster wheel still spins at night When it thinks I'm still not looking My puzzle has a missing piece It was my favorite part I lost the key to my wind up clown A Fathers useless gift gone silent A missing picture for the frame A shattered mirror on the wall Creaks on every floor board Silent whispers from above Locked inside an ocean room Only evil can come in I struggle and its hard to breath I need some oxygen My television screen is warped Craft time just wont cut it I crave of something dark and needy Of something linked with Hades Locked inside an ocean room Only evil can come in I fought it and I made it back Found somin better than oxygen