Or is it your face (your mind) that's got you down Or is it your mind (your mind) when no ones around (thinking thoughts of suicide) Last night, after I left that wonderful little blurb about me and Esty, she (Esty) came over and we were picked up to go to ANIME NIGHT!!! YA !!!! lol, it was great fun, I enjoyed myself, lol, as dumb as it sounds to watch Japanese anime dubbed over to English, yes I had fun. We watched Utena, and only Utena because Nix would kills me if I let them watch anything else :P oh well, i still have to tell her that I am borrowing the Inuyasha movies from a friend. So we got there at about 8/00 when we should have about 6/45-7/00, but that was because we left our ride to go shopping with her boyfriend. Smart move Randi! lol, but either way it was good. Can't start without me 'casue I'm the one with all the anime. Mwa hahahaha!! Yes,well, we may have it at my house if no body minds the mess. :S I don't usually bring people over here. I really hate this house. We have no wall paper (we're right in the middle of a 5 year process of paiting our house), the downstairs bath room has no ceiling (another mult-year task to fix the plumbing), the bathrooms all together are in a horrible state without my constant cleaning, and the mix of cat litter, rat/hamster entrails, and cat little being masked by sandle wood incense is not a good mix. I wonder, that if I were to have my own apartment, or own dorm, or any living space that belongs to me, would I keep it clean because of how I live now, and since I find it so disgusting, want to change it, or will I live in the same slobiness, because that is all I know and that is all I can be? Or, maybe, just maybe, I am over analyzing this, as always. I always look over , and think over things way too much. I obsess over them and think about them constantly and then I get all these ideas into my head, that I'm right about my negative accusations, or every bad thought that i have, will most definatly come true. And here I am over obsessing again. Somebody shoot me! OR at least take away my thinking privileges taken away. If it's even possible. Ho hum. So anyways, back to anime night, it was fun, but it was horrible. I can be such a fool sometimes, and i dont know why I do the things I do. Watching the anime and dubbing people the charactrs to make fun of them was great, and so was the carrot cake :D but, I don't know. Some people there make me wonder. Do I hate them? Or are they completly fine? I find it that everyday they are all different. One boy, is a jackass at school. and when it comes to watchign our movies, he was nice. Maybe he was just being the perfect Host, but I can't put my finger on it. Then theres Tinman who will forever confuse me, and make me want to Secretly do things to him. Like oh, I don't know, shove a pencil through his eye. Yes I am that cruel, and on certain beings, I would do that to them. Oh well, what can I do? What can I ever do? I am but helpless being, trapped in this world of confusion, hate, and lust.