whoa...the new picture turned out HUGE. i'm going to have to fix that sometime. i've been very busy the past couple of weeks. i was sick for a while which was no fun at all. then we had Ashton McKenna (my new baby cousin) while Stacy, her mom, got settled into classes in Delaware. we had her for a week and it was the best. she's an incredible baby, never crying unless she's sleepy and only 10 minutes max if that. very pleasant and content. she's very smart. she went home friday so everything's back to normal now. my birthday was great, it was on the 18th. i'm 22. i know everyone says it, but i really do feel like i'm getting so old. when i think about it i cannot believe i have already been here for 22 years. it's so weird. everyone i know is married, getting married, engaged or having a baby. everyone except me. i'm not jealous because i'm sure i couldn't take any of that on right now, but i feel like i'm thrown into the wrong age group or something. i feel like a 12 year old who wondered over into the 20 something group. i don't know. i guess that's stupid. i'm sure it will all happen soon enough at the perfect time. lately i have been very happy with myself. just happy to be me. usually i'm very critical and hard on myself, but recently i haven't been that way. i feel good and i'm happy with who i am, with the way i look, my lifestyle, friends, relationships, closeness to God, etc. i've always been my own worst enemy. i don't know why. i expect so much out of myself but i am very lenient and understanding/compromising with other people. i'm sure Chris would tell you otherwise, but it's true. i always thought i sounded so gay whenever people would say they were finding themselves...but now i understand the whole concept. i feel like i'm coming into my own and accepting and allowing myself to be exactly who i really am. maybe a bit too late since most people already have things figured out by now, but better late than never. Chris and i are doing great. i haven't been able to see him much lately but that's ok. soon enough, soon enough. he's ordering my mysterious gift tomorrow. i can't wait to finally find out what it is. i've been hearing about it for 3 months now. i'm excited :) i'm fasting today and it's so hard. i can't understand why anyone would purposely not eat. i occasionally fast for church or something in my personal life. it's not exactly fun, but God gives me the strength and the benefits are wonderful. i still haven't went ice skating. this is like the 5th winter in a row that i've wanted to go and haven't. i'm going to make Chris take me the next time we see each other. i'm sure we'll come back with bruises and cuts, but it will be fun nonetheless. i guess that's all i have for today. i leave you with some pictures of Ashton :) bathtime in the sink bundled up after her bath! happy girl! hahaha Holly