geez. nobody ever leaves me comments anymore. boo. it's been a little spell since i last wrote so i decided to update a bit. lately i have been having the weirdest dreams ever. not scary, but just so strange. strange in the sense that although they have all been very different...the feel and atmosphere of them is eerily the same. they're kindof blurry and in fast motion, but it seems like they are all connected. in any case, i want this series of dreams to be over with so i can finally lay my head down and actually get some sweet rest. for the past few months Chris has been torturing me about something he is going to give me. the gift finally arrived at his house in va and his mom is mailing it to him here. i was supposed to get it for Christmas, then my birthday...now he's making me wait until Valentine's Day. it better be good. that's all i can say. really though, whatever it is i'm sure i will love it to pieces. recently i have been very pleased with our relationship. for a while there it was pretty rocky. let me tell ya, lack of trust will make you see the cracks in everything. and it puts you in the worst mood EVER all the time. we have finally advanced past that stage and put all of those issues where they belong and things are wonderful. i'm very happy. i was thinking and the past 6 years of my life has basically been complete chaos. things came from every direction and hit me hard. it was nonstop and relentless. i had one constant during the whole thing and that was my God. even whenever i wasn't there for him, he was seriously always there for me. i think back and i don't have the capacity of understanding how it would have been without my faith and the hedge God has placed around me. it may have been bad but it could have been so much worse without him. hard times are just that, hard. it seems as though they will last forever and that the pain and longsuffering will never pass, but all of it does and eventually you will see yourself and the world in a brand new light. you will feel free from the bondage of whatever it was that kept you down for so long and life will be at its best. the hardest part about it all is the time. patience really is a virtue. it's so worth it. i am rarely ever this serious in my entries, but the whole thing with Beth really has me thinking. i don't even know her that well, never even met her in real life...but the things that go on in her life still concern me, i want her to be happy. i have been reading her diary for a while and i feel like i know her. she's an awesome girl. so funny and very smart. not to mention pretty. so of course it just makes me feel like crap to know what she's going through, especially when i have been in the exact place before. my heart really does go out to her and i hope she sincerely knows she will be ok and once she gets through this she'll be even more awesome and wonderful. "...my grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness..." 2 Corinthians 12:9. this weekend Chris is coming up and going to my cousin Austin's 16th birthday party with me...we are very close, our moms are sisters, so Jill (my aunt) wanted us to be there. it should be cute. afterwards we'll probably get into something...i'm not sure what we'll be doing Saturday, probably just running around and out to eat as usual. he's going to church with me Sunday and we're going back to Athens to watch the Superbowl with Mark and Erin, two of his roommates. i'm excited about it. we should have a lot of fun. it's about time we all get to hang out. so yeah this weekend is going to be pretty busy. i guess that's all for now. i have been rummaging through my room and trying to get rid of everything i don't need or use anymore. it's a mess. -Holly