i've been feeling good. trying to keep my mind off of things hasn't been the easiest task, but i'm doing pretty well. i think i have perfected the art of avoiding what's going on and ignoring how i feel about it. that's probably not the best thing in the world. i was thinking about tv shows vs. reality when it comes to couples and love. the person you have loved so much the whole time ends up being the one you end up with at the end. it's awesome and it was meant to be...but why not NOT waste all of the time in the middle and just be with the person you know you love? i don't know how it usually ends up in real life...if the people normally end up coming back to one another or not...i just think it's sad because although tv and real life and very far apart in truth...the concept of loving someone is the same. it makes me sad to think that i truly love someone but i'm not with him. that i will have to waste so much of my time and he his, just to come full circle and end up together again. felicity loved ben from the beginning and that's who she ended up with in the end. we all know about ross and rachel which in my case i can relate to the most...luke and lorelai, sam and diane from cheers. there are tons more. i guess i've just been watching too much tv. i don't know. this entry is probably totally pointless and i would more than likely delete it and start over, but i'm not going to read over it or proofread. all i know is that i don't want to always settle and be waiting in my heart and in the back of my mind for the person i really want to be with. why not just start things now and be happy and make it work? i'll never understand. that's all for now. time to go shopping. an excellent distraction :).