ahh i love james blunt. his songs kindof encompass how i've been feeling in the past weeks. a little sad and dreadful but hopeful and inspired at the same time. i've been so melancholy recently. i have been taking time to reflect back on my life during the past 5 years. i know it all has a purpose and as cliche as it sounds, i know it has helped mold and shape the person i am today...but why did there have to be so much hurt and defeat. there have been so many letdowns and obstacles standing in the way of what i feel should have been a normal life for me between the ages of 17 and 22. i can say that i have kept my head up in an incredible way. i had bad days, horrible days, and i still do...but i'm not going to let it get to me and hollow me out inside. i don't want any of my circumstances to take hold of me and make me lose sight of being ok today, because today ensures my future, and i know it's going to be so awesome. last night we found out that my mom's best friends mom died yesterday morning. it came as a shock. someone requested prayer for the family at church. my mom went in the back and sobbed. she's with the family now. they all just got in from florida earlier today. mom went to school with cathy and we grew up with her boys. june (the woman who passed) was always so very nice to us. we played there constantly when we were little. hopefully i'll be able to see justin and jacob soon. i am dreading the services...not only because it's obviously just a sad place to be, but because recently i have been so emotional and with so many other things on my mind, i am just hoping i can hold it together. wish me luck. yesterday i took Lilly and Daisy, two of the cats i had, to their new home. i was so sad about it. i cried just a little. Lilly is the kitten Chris and i picked up forever ago, so she was kindof our pet together. i had to choose though and Uggs has the best personality and loves me, so he was my choice. they went to my second cousins wife who LOVES animals and lives on a farm so i know they'll be happy and treated very well. so that's always a reassuring thought. and i'm fine now :). in more exciting, lame news...tomorrow night i'm going to a high school basketball game. i haven't been to one since i graduated in 2002. my cousins wanna go so my aunt asked mom Bethany and i if we would go so we could all sit together. so...why not. Chris and i got into an awful fight the night before Valentine's Day. i don't think anyone can comprehend the level of awful i'm speaking of. it was bad. we didn't talk until probably close to 6 the next day and agreed to go through with our plans of hanging out for the evening. it turned out to be much better than i had expected. we really had a good time and it was a sweet Valentine's Day. i'm glad it worked out that way. i don't really know what's going on with Matthew. we have talked here and there a few times lately and he just doesn't seem like himself. i'm worried about him. he's so serious now. maybe it's just a little awkward for him whenever we talk now. if anyone wants to know what i'm talking about just ask, although i'm sure nobody cares :). anyway, i need some food so that's all for now. look at my pretty kitties and brag :P. Lilly Daisy Uggs :)