I will admit my SD entry from yesterday was extremely angry. I was mad that i found out about something. I didn't know really how to react to it. I was angry... but i remembered one of my own philosophical influences " anger only clouds judgment." Which was so very true in this case. I'm not angry anymore, because i realized that i was the one at fault, i have changed since the start of my relationship with Ashley. I'm not the fun Ryan i used to be, and i have been taking everything way too seriously. I wasn’t talking to her like I should have, I left her in the dark of my feelings,. She couldn’t have really taken my moods then, really any other way but negative. I realized that now. Ashley is my friend, I was her friend, we made that more. But I forgot that fact, and now I have felt the repercussions of that. I will change my ways because I need to…even at home my mom doesn’t know how I feel on a lot of things, or that I give her the wrong signal at times when I mean something else or nothing at all. This probably causes a lot of our arguments. I think that part of me needs to be altered, I don’t want to feel like I did before. Things need to be improved and I plan to make them.