so i was looking threw some pictures tonight and i realized that i had said that i was proud of who i was and i was ok with my self esteem but righ tnow i really dont think thats true. i realized tonigth that im not happy with how i look and keep thinking man i wish i looked like her which i know i shouldnt compare myself to others bc they have different flaws than i do and i had different types of beauty that they may not but right now i just feel ugly... why could he ever feel anything for me when there are somany other people out there that he could have. why cant i just be happy with who i am. i have so many flaws and at times i find beauty in my flaws but right now i hate them i hate my flaws..... i hate them and they way they make me feel and i know that people tell me good things about myself and its not that i thinkthat they are lieing but its just hard to believe them when i dont believe it myself. its kinda like you have to feel pretty to be pretty but if you dont think you rpretty how could you ever feel that... arg i hate this feeling all i want to do right now is either try to make myself feel beautiful which i wont do bc its 2 45 and what can i do tomake me feel pretty at 2 45 am or i want to go to sleep and i hate goin gto sleep douting myself bc whose ot say that my feelings will change in the morning or that i will get ovetr thing and not just repress it in my mind while i sleep. man i want to be happy with my self i really do but how how can i when i look at myself and pick out my flaws and tell my slef of there true self worth.... ah i cant think abou thtis its making me mad bc i cnat fix it which makes me think of the fact that i nee dto fix it its a visous cycle...