all the best desptions and the clever cover story awards go to you. you will be back somedayt and this ackward kiss that screams of other peoples lips. is that going to be us? i mean i know i cant expect to wait five months for someone that has been away and hope that i was the last one he kissed, thats just ignorant of myself to think that that would be true. but man i wish it wasnt like this i wish you didnt move to rhode island bc you keep feeding me the line that " if i were staying it would be different between us" but how can you say that and be so cold on your goodbye. you were only that cold bc you would be and you said that you didnt want to make it to sentamental bc then i would just make you leaving harder on the both of us. but you know i would really like to know if all the things you whispered in my ear with you lips brushin so close were how you truely felt or if you were just being a boy and telling me what i wanted to hear. god i hope not. i hope things can be amazing between us when you come back. so a part of me wants that kiss that tells of other peoples lips. just so i know that you werent lieing and that it really would be different if you stayed. please let that be true when you come back. sitting in your room i dont comprehend the realization of it all. it just seems like you just happen to not be home when ever i come over and that you i dont know i guess that you moved upstairs. the funny thing is i dont want the realization to kick in. that day will be a gloomy day. i just expect you to come running down the steps and run up and pick me up and spin me around. stand behind me with you hands around my waist. got i would do anything to split my last pack of ciggerettes with you. or even to just be laying in your bed with you laying beside me playing with my hair. i just want everything to go back to the way we were. if i could be your first REAL heartake i would do it over again. i miss you more than most know.