sitting here tonight mroe upset than i think i ive been in a long time.. not being able to force myself to get out of the house or call someone to do something... sitting here with the thougth that i would probly rather cut my heart out of my chest with the butcher knife on my night stand then to have to think of my life if i lost him to her... which sitting just thinking i realize that its a possibility.. i dont get to see him as often as she does but i know she doesnt love him as much as me. she probably thinks yeah hes a great guy but she will never know that he is in fact my everything the thing that keeps me breathing every day. the things that makes me want to try to be happy bc with him its finally a possibility. i honestly dont know what would happen if i lost him... he is what keeps me from bad habits he is what keeps me sane and if i lose him i will never be the same. i know that noone will probly not believe me when i say that i remeber every moment ive spent with him but i truely do i could replay the everything between us, even the little things that are pointless, in perfect order from the first time i met him and didnt think anything of it, get to kiss there boy every day.