sitting in detention makes you realize how much of a fuck up you really are. how every breath you take is a sin for which you will be eternally hellbound. life really is nothing on the grand scale of things. sometimes i wish i would get sucked up into an ultimate infinite abyss. as i stumble awkwardly through the school that i thought i knew, i am dumbfounded how sophomoric my thoughts are. it almost humerous really. in a masochistal sort of way. every waking moment is another thorn in someone elses side. constanly underfoot. but i retrospect, its funny. its painful to sit. its painful to walk, to breathe, to think, and most of all, to be hospitable. i just wanna fight someone, anyone. all i see is hate. when i eat, i only taste the red, putrid, acidic taste of rage. maybe i need to go to the funny farm forever. or maybe i need a permanent nap. either way, civilizations doesnt need mcuh more of me. contradiction. civilization doesnt know i exist. i dont know what to think anymore. _______________________________________ The fever, the focus... The reasons that I had to believe you weren't too hard to sell. Die young and save yourself. The tickle, the taste of... It used to be the reason I breathed, and now it's choking me up. DIE YOUNG AND SAVE YOURSELF!