I put conflicted because ive already used confused recently, but thats one of them. have u ever had so much going through ur head that u just like wanna run into a wall to get it all out. i unno im feelin weird. its like im soooooo hyper insde yet completly mellow outside and my mind is going nuts! like its trying to get my body to run around, punch a punching bag, scream out my lungs, but instead my body opens up a new entry to release the mind. ahh sooo much going through the head. i find sometimes that music will either like make the stuff worse and just put more in my head or most of the time it will just drown everything out of my head. i think tonite tho is a little bit of both. i just put the music on pause to see if ill be able to conentrate more...ill let u kno later. so yeah today my karate tournament was pretty pathetic: i tied for 3rd (outta 5) in katas and lost the tie breaker so i didnt get a trophy, just some stupid little "participant" ribbon that they give u and some kids run home going OMG LOOK WAT I GOT but the smarter ones kno its just a trick. in combat tho it was just 2 of us cuz of the lack of ppl in our weight/age category. i was 25lbs heavier then him, but i still lost. it wasnt actually all that fair cuz we were meant to do best 2 outta 3, but they made me take off my bandana rite before so i couldnt see anything for the whole first fight, so i lost it. we got a break for 90 seconds so i went to talk to the head honcho and he let me put it back on, but by that time i was so tired cuz i spent so much energy trying to see. i did really well on the 2nd fight, my dad said i shoulda won (and he's meant to, being my dad and all lol) but i still lost. its kinda sad cuz i got a trophy by default. in my defence, i have been sick since friday and the other dude was a year older, not that it changes much... after karate I drove home (me driving my dad) from longueuil to westmount so i got to go on the highway and that was cool. i got home, showered and left rite for ball practice with my mom. i think we kinda formed a group today with some friends i me there. there's 6 of us, 3 pairs so obviously 3 guys 3 girls and i think its a good number. seems like a good bunch of ppl. mike keane's meant to join the ball next week, he mite throw off the nice balance we have going. ive never really been part of the cool crowd before, its nice cuz the cool ppl arent pricks for once. we're all meant to goin skating (the hungarian ball ppl are organizin it) in like 2 weeks and i dont kno how to skate so one of them said she might teach me, im lookin fwd to it. mark wasnt there tonit so it was different. mom's buggin me to go walk the dog, she wants me to get to bed early tonite cuz im tired, which i really am. and im sick. eugh i hate sickness lol. free dress day tomorrow: happy valentines everyone, i hope u get a Crush ;)