Show me the way to the river, so i can throw myself in. I just completly froze during my Hamlet soliloquy for english class. A bunch of people got like 10/10 and stuff and i fucked up. i mean i was so nervous i just froze. and its not like i could see anyone either, she made us stand with our backs to the class so that nobody could mouth us answers so all i could hear was everyone there just talking or making noice and it was so disconcentrating. i knew what i was doing, i knew that speech, id been practicing for too long to screw up some of those things. she takes off 1/4 mark per mistake if ur over like 25 lines and i had 35. I had 13 errors: -4.25 I got 5.75 on 10. I Failed. And then to *motivate* me even more she hands me back my Hamlet Test with a big red juicy 56% written on the front. she said she's thinking bout adding the 2 together so i got 28/50+5.75/10 = 33.75/60 meaning i got a nice .25 more that will be rounded DOWN. so i pretty much gave up like 8 hours of my life to memorize something that wont ever help me. I want to break down and cry right here. its lunch time and i dont even want to eat. thats a first, but i dont. i feel sick and disgusted with myself and now some kid i HATE is coming over trying to read this. he's an ass and im holding myself back from kicking the shit outta him. My english teacher has been at this school for like 25 years and is like retiring next year and sometimes i just think she's too full of herself and just hates me but i kno thats not true, i think. Im just very bad at english. the test was 50% essay, 50% quotations. i got 7/25 for quotes and 21/25 for the essay which is my highest mark ever. i had no idea wat to expect. when she said quotations, i thought we'd actually be able to see a decent bit of the speech or soliloquy, NOT JUST ONE FUCKING LINE. Im honestly at a loss here. My dad thinks english and math are like the 2 most important subject and barely have an 84 in math and its my 2nd year in that class. and now im failing english. Fuck elementry school kids coming in. Im so pissed i dont know what to do. my dad will literally kill me when he finds out and this isnt the type of thing i can hide from him for long. maybe i can tell him ill only get the marks after the break that way our break isnt ruined and neither is our vacation...fuck im scared. --Edit-- Today is being called the 2nd worse day ever after that first one a while back. 2 terrible english marks and NOW they tell me that SKIING IS CANCELLED TMR. F U C K Like this means that i dont get to go on not one of the Traf Ski nites. i was sooo looking forward to it and now no. fuck them. parents coming home to take me to 2 hrs of karate. i hate it. no choice ...