okay,so i had this appointment today and it was at fuckin 9:15,so i get up early and all that,so when im fuckin waskin my hair kathy tells me that my appointment wasnt today!like,and she fuckin told me monday,i fuckin no she did.okay we have the worst water ever,i dont even no what it tastes like,and it has a taste,and water isnt supposed to have a taste,its like stale water or something,i donno.anywayz so far i have walked/ran 4 k on the treadmill,and im workin really hard on not eating past 7,its so hard tho,and ive put little notes on things like cookies and chips saying"dont' do it",lol,cuz i know i'll just regret it.fuck this water is just as bad as the night i sat down here and choked down vodka,ewwwww there is a floaty in it,im NEVER drinkin water from my fridge again,ever!So yah i think im determined to loose weight this time,i see kathaleen doin it,and if she can ,i can,if anyone can ,i can,like,i not have a brick wall up blocking me from exercise.So ju is suppose to call,but hes a skitz so hell be in the hospital for a while and there is something wrong with his kidneys,man no what i fuckin hate,lee took some pics,shes fuckin 6 and kathy was all glorious about them,and me she doesnt even fuckin know what i can do because 1.they never bought me a proper camera,and 2.shes not even interested in what i shoot.no one really is,it was all about lee,thats all i fuckin herd,she could win a prize,like fuck.So i went to this concert with angela and her NEW bf,yah new again,and he freaks me out,he was a major cutter,his arm is like so fucked,and like when i saw it like all of my scars could have fit into a portion of his.It like took everything in me ,not to like run and find sara,cuz i was terrified,and he just never talked and i just dont like him at all.period.