So....It's been a long night. School. Sucked. As per usual. Homework. Ill...ick. Guitar lesson. .....I don't know what to do. I am so frustrated with myself. I know I can do better than this. I know I can. He said that I need to feel the music. My problem isn't feeling the music. My problem is me. Take off the layers that I put on to keep myself from everything,I stand; a little girl that is afraid of herself. I can hear the music and behind the look of...who knows what. confusion? I stand there lost in the notes. It's an escape for me. Well, it would be an escape for me if it didn't scare me so much. This may all sound so ridiculous...I may not make much sense. I have been playing guitar for about a year now and I feel like more of a failure now than when I first started. I feel like I have hit a wall. A wall that I have tried to climb over but it's too high and sleek. The problem isn't a lack of motovation but a lack of confidence in myself. I am scared of letting my emotions go into my music because I am afraid of my emotions. It means that I would have to deal with the demons that I neglect everyday. It means that the tears that I don't let escape are going to flood into the music that I attempt to make. Can you even fathom how terrifying that is for me? It's like...literally cutting off a piece of my heart and letting it rest in my hand while anyone who pleases can walk by and destroy what little there is. I am beyond terrified of letting go. I can't even cry anymore. I so wish that I could just put everything out there and just play. Nod my head to the music and just get lost. Go crazy. but I don't know if I can... I'm scared. I just don't know what to do... Please help me? ............................................. dbs Marina.