I feel like complete useless shit. Because i'm driving myself and everyone crazy. Kristin keeps saying she wants to die... she'll probably try to kill herself.. and its all my fault. If she dies i die. Because i'm one of the people making her feel that way because i'm so fucking selfish and stupid. I'm jelous of Jeff.. well i was . not as much as before... i'm such a selfish person because i dont want Kristin to be with someone else. i want her to be with me. But i know we cant be together no matter how much we love each other its obvious we're not meant to be. No matter how much we want to be together or not WE'RE NOT MEANT TO BE. I'm so lonely no matter how many people are around me. or how many people i date at once or whatever. I FEEL ALONe , and unwanted. The other day i was mad at my mom and told her i didn't care if she died and i said i wish i could be the one to kill her. I was selfish and stupid to say that.Then i yelled 3 times to her face that i want to die... i scared her. who knows what she thinks now. i love my mom and i dont want to scare her but i'm sure i've done it already. MANY TIMES.Plus i know there cant be a god all he's done is take people away from me and make my life a living hell. Someone pull the trigger against my head...