i just got home from ohio again to take my best friend home and to go to my step cousins wedding. Im so fucking pissed off right now because my best friend lied to me, all because she didnt want me to be mad. Ever say that your goign to be mad about something and they go and do it and not tell you cuz they dont want you to be mad at them? well that kinda happend and i mean i wont be mad if she didnt lie to me. I mean i have come to realize that its her life not mine and i shouldnt get all worked up about something that has nothing to do with me. I just want her to have the best life and not to live it to be like her mom. I love that girl and i just want her to have a good life. I dont like to lie for people, and i ended up doing just that. And i FEEL SOO BAD!!!!! On top of all this, my mind and my heart wont move on. I want to but its too damn hard. Every time i think of him telling me he loves me it feels like some one is tightening their fist around my heart. As its getting tighter and tighter tears are leaking from my eyes. Its been a month and i know that i should have moved on, but i cant. I know he is the one for me, and im the one for him. I just wish that he would realize that and come back to me. I love you Zach....