How am I supposed to explain how I feel when everything around me seems so unreal All I can express are these tears of pain but what from them do I ever gain? Quivering alone, bathing in regret and sorrow Just wishing I will not be here come tomorrow I hold the balde up to my wrist praying for the courage to press down even then people won't see what hides behind every frown all these endless tragedies make the walls close in I have to let everything out that I have traped hiding witin most of all I am sick of being so damn fake but the thought of letting people know who I am makes my heart ache sometimes I fee like I am nothing but a lost youth afraid to take off this mask to reveal the truth but there is something behind all these secrets and lies I pleed for you to see behind these transparent eyes and my silent screams can only be heard by those who scream silently beside me but no one asks you to stay long enough to see behind the debris by: Jackie Jones (ME) Take it if you want but please give credit to me .. but yah .. thats kinda how I feel .. I am so freaking down lately. like everything I do is wrong. like the people I try to avoid are bcoming my best friends because they tell me my faults. I am over the drama of it all. people try so hard to change theirselves to fit in with the in crowd, to try to be normal. who are we to judge what is normal. there are so many cliques that no one knows who they are anymore. they are all too wraped up in themselves to wory about anything else but their hair or make-up or who is going out with whom. everyone is into the little things that don't matter as much in the future as it does now to most people. I guess I'm weird but I don't care about that.. all I really want is for someone to understand me and who I really am. people only know this mask that I wear every day that I don't tamper with because I am finally begining to perfect, even though I'm falling apart on the inside. but people will grow up and change, move away and make new so called friends til some little things get in the wayof what you thought was a great friendship. lets just face it. life happens and most of it is shit. people think that you have great friends and spend so much time together, but the truth of it is is that you are alone .. you work and work and work then you come home and clean and do homework and make dinner and not have time to have a life and all the time while you are doing that, you are alone. so .. I guess I'm lucky that not many people understand me or like me .. preparing me for life..... yah thats it .. keep thinking that jackie .. it might make you feel better!