Yes, You have lost another person to Live journal. I will still update this as much as possible. But I don't know what has come over me. I feel so much resentment against everyone who I come across lately. Like I feel really bad about whats going on with me and Jess, almost like she uses me when no one else is around. She has her car back temporarily and I'm a little shakey about doing stuff with her again. After the huge fallout about my sister I feel almost awkward around her like she is waiting for me to say something to screw up. I feel really bad about my sister and her situation but I am a firm believer that she has had it coming to her. With all the sex and the drugs that she has done, someone needed to do something to contain her. I was watching home movies last night and it made me cry because my innocence is over. We were so happy, we were a family and we aren't anymore. Every conversation in this house is about Stephany or Doug. Or my mother is telling me about how I am such a mean person to guilt me into being nice. Shes always telling me about how I need to make some friends and the ones I have aren't good enough. About how Cory is this bad person that is going to break my heart again. No decision I make in life ever seems to be good enough. It baffles me how I can sit here and pretend like I am so damn happy when I am falling apart inside. No one knows how I sit in my room almost every night and cry. I am sick of putting on a happy face, but I feel like there is nothing else I can do. I want my sister to come home and things to be like they used to be. I used to have two of the greatest friends in the world, Katie (BFF for 11 years) and Katie K.(BFF for 3) and now we don't even talk, and it amazes me how me and Katie K hate each other. That makes me feel like I have changed for the worst. I am so lost. I really relate to Katey (yes, I know lots of katie's) about what she is going through. I'm really glad we are friends now. She is one of the coolest people I have met and it amazes me on how if we weren't forced to talk to each other we wouldn't be friends. I hate sterotypes, they ruin peoples lives. This world is changing, and I don't want to change with it.