well it is about 10...today i went to kims after school got out and i hung out with matt then his sister came over and said that they have to leave tommorow now and i started bawling i punched the wall as hard as i could for like 45 minutes straight...and now i think i broke my hand...then i had to go home and i cried for like 3 hours then i had to go to my game and i was like so depressed...then i went up to bat and started crying went back into the dugout, the 3rd out was made, then i went back out to 2nd and started crying again then my hand started hurting like CRAZY i went to kmart and got paint...then we went home and put in my air conditioner...then i cried for like a half an hour, then called matt...we talked for like an hour then my mom had to use the phone so i am calling him back a little later god dam i love him so much it is gana be so hard for me to let him go...i will wait for him though...if he ever comes back and i have a b/f i will break up with them for matt....he is the ONLY one i want to spend forever with i dont want to have to move on, i dont want to have to be with someone else, he is the only one i will ever need to make it through forever i grew on him so fast and built a love for him so strong that i dont think i will be able to wait a year before i see him again...but if it is the only way i will...i quit cutting for him because it hurt him...i could never do that for anyone else...i did it for him....i love him with EVERYTHING i have inside i am hoping that someday he will come back and we will be together again and i can spend forever with him like i want to...nothing will ever take away my love for him....he is my world