well i just got off the phone with matt and we said goodbye for the last time i cried on the phone with his sis for a while then i talked to him and the whole time i was bawling and punching the wall in the same place where i think i broke my hand from punching a concrete wall yesterday then i had to call kayla at the sage house and matt got there and i talked to him for a while then i cried like really bad then he had to go he is like...i still love you i broke down crying when he said that and i said i still love you too...and we said goodbye...for the last time.. i cant believe he is actually gone...he left i think i pretty much shattered the bones in my hand from punching concrete walls...god damn it i miss him so much.... this is so horrible kayla is definately coming back the day school gets out down there and she is staying up here....i think matt is coming to..i hope so i dont want to have to go on like this i just want him to come back and stay here forever because like i said in the last entry, he is the only one i want to spend forever with...this is so hard for me