Sometimes a song or image creates incredible feelings. One such for me is "Papa Roach - Getting away with Murder." For some reason it fills me with a want for destruction: simple, awesome, and complete. I truly have no clue. I envision some monstrosity smashing through buildings or armies, a living battering ram of obliteration, wreaking terrible death in all it's path. mmmmm.....senseless annihilation...tasty. So I went and wrote a poem in my mind last night to help me get to bed. It was quite possibly one of the most emo things I've ever done in my life and I never want to do it again such like that; however that is basically impossible as I am a poet and it is the norm. I believe I will need to again tonight, although I wish it wasn't so. Sometimes one can say too much... I'm learning more french, and that's all well and good for me. Sucky thing is I will be losing the teacher I have now. He was supposed to be teaching my 102 class in the fall, but some other witch teacher fethed up her schedule so he is forced to teach only 101 classes. grrr, he's so awesome, and if I could take classes in the summer then I could take 102 with him, but I'll be working so I can attend school at all. Slightly important, but oh well. I'll still see him around I hope. Definitely a character that guy is; one time he was dressed in a black shirt, pink tie, camo shorts and black boots. He's cool. Je suis très fatigué. Je voudrais s’endormir... How many people don't know how to relax? Probably a lot, considering our society. But I mean at all, without the use of drugs? Too many. I marvel at the amount of people that manage to get through life with such a mindset. They simply are unable to realize the so many things that calm them and let them relax. Having always taken the easy (re. weak) way out, they are now cast adrift with no knowledge. However if they just opened their eyes to what is beautiful and calming and right in front of them, they would see that in reality it's not all that hard. Many times the thing itself isn't relaxing, but something deeper, more subtle is what's at work in calming the nerves. Take for instance my wargames. I love them, and they cause much consternation when I am losing. But in truth it is one of the most calming things I know. That is the only thing in the world I'm focusing on. I'm not split in every which direction for every thought but instead concentrating on what I have in front of me. That is what is important there and then, nothing else matters. Of course, if something like really bad weather or health or family things spring up they'll take precedence, but you know what I mean. Right, so I'm gonna end this now before I rant anymore. Besides, I have to be up in fething 7 heures. Zut!