As I sit here, eating strawberry ice cream out of my milk cup, I ponder on things. People suck. They have lost the knowledge on what certain things are. Things such as loyalty and trust. For some people, it makes no sense. Why would you keep a promise to not give out your friend's sn to people that ask for it? these people wonder. What value is in it? I wake up, work long physical labor for 8 hours, drive home, shower, try to unwind for maybe an hour or so, eat dinner, try to unwind more, then sleep. Repeat. I barely talk to anyone, I never go out as I'm tired by 7:30-8 ish, and nothing's getting done in my room. I do this six days a week. What am I getting for it? $8.30 an hour, $12.60 for overtime. I dont want to do it anymore, but I need to. I hate having the one day a week free spent relaxing because it's the only day I can. I'd rather be using it to do stuff, but I can't because I'm using it to catch up from the last week. grr. I have green font. It's usually pretty calming. I'm thinking alot and staying awake for no real reason. At least I'm finally going to see Nicole tomorrow. I hate not being able to see her. It makes me worry, it makes me sad, it makes me tense. Without her touch the tenseness builds up over the week. Some days I simply want to cry. I have so many mistakes, so many not good things I know and remember that simply torture my mind. But I do not give in to it. I will not. I hate when my parents hang, and don't go away, lol. I don't want them reading this. Or anything for that matter. grr My games are a sure source to getting away from everything. I am finally able to shut out everything else and focus on only one thing, and it is a great thing. I only wish I could play it more often, as I need to calm myself more than once a week with it. It helps me more than anything, bar Nicole herself.