well, when im in bed about to fall asleep and im not thinkin about grandpa and his health and such--- i`ve been thinking about my #1 all time crush (***) hes pretty much my dream man and as i see it always will be. in my eyes hes so damn perfect and i just wish he didnt graduate. well, i take that back, i am happy for him.. hes such an awesome guy and hes goin to Ship. University and i hope he lives it up. its just i wish i saw him everyday like i did when school was goin on. but i really should move on, i mean hes just leadin me on... right? uh, see i dont know, i really dont wanna belive it, but i gotta think straight and try to get over him!! the thing is, do i want too? i mean, when i think about him or look at his picture i get a smile from ear to ear. ugh, its so bad, i havent even seen him this summer at all and i still seem to be in lust with him, although we talk (online) almost every single day and he actually told me to call him but i didnt because well, god knows why!? im dumb. ugh.... I NEED TO GET OVER ---! (hehe) should i? ;P