Where do I ever go wrong with picking out people I want to be in my life?

I try so hard to get Bruce motivated, yet I seem to fail time after time. Is golf really that important that you it needs to come before looking for jobs? I just don't see him trying that hard.

Poppy always said, when your dating a guy, look at their father, majority of the time they turn out the same. Well once again that man was right. I look at Bruce's father, who is doing absolutely nothing with his life and wants his kids to do everything for him, which is absolute bull crap. Bruce golfs all the time, my mother and I do everything for him.

Tonight my mother said some things that really opened my eyes; if his father is doing nothing now, and Bruce is doing nothing now, what is really going to change any of that?? I don't see anything.

Dad always said that you can't change people, no matter how hard you want to try, you just can't do it. Well another person was right...

I feel like I'm doing all of this alone, and I am so afraid, but I just need to keep going on, and be strong about it all. Mom doesn't even want to help herself, Bruce makes promises and breaks them. Bruce told me he'd help me with Gram, but unfortunately thats another thing I don't see happening. So I just go on about my days, moving on by myself. I don't see Gram in my dreams anymore, maybe she's giving me a sign. I miss her voice so much, I am just trying to realize that I won't be hearing it anymore. In a month, it will be a year. 1 year since I've seen my best friend. 1 year since I hugged her last. But moving on is something I need to do, and I think I am doing an OK job. I just wish I could talk to her about all of this, and maybe get some advice.

How am I supposed to get Bruce motivated, when he isn't motivating himself? I am just so sick of him golfing all the time and complaining that he is sore, I am so sick of him coming back to my mother's and leaving messes, expecting us to cook him food and just going to bed. I need to get away for awhile.. I need something more.