Fury Server
Ran Online
DeatH2EmO
EmO-cHiCk
i am so addicted to RAN online that i havent done my thesis yet!! waaaaa i need to work so yea ! i'll go work on my thesis and projects^^ aaahhhh i love life... i keep messing up T_T....
so yea...me ang james......so its like a ruined puzzle!
i dont know what to say anymore...i have lots of things to say, but sumhow, i would rather hav ethem here in my thoughts and lately, i need to process a lot of thinking....
anyway my distal clavicle is almost healed and i can at last SKATE again!! hell yea baby! i missed it so much...i wonder if can still get my crooked grind....aaahhh! skate skate skate
altely i've been into RAN online game...its one of those level up games you do quest and the like....
my midterm plate will be exhibtied i guess..weeeee! its a candle-wax sculpture, a female with angel wings, and she's got no clothes on! hehehe i'll post a pic of it someday...
im not in the very least troubled with my thesis which is bad..it will be cramming again....bad bad bad
oh and yea me and james we're just friends now...
thats all this is too long already...
i wish i wouldnt have to feel anything fro now....so hard to be in love...but sometimes i wake up in the morning feeling stupidly happy, and at the same time so lonely but still happy..it feels like i miss him again, but its fine...i love missing him...but it makes me sad to know that maybe we are drifting apart and maybe someday, he wouldnt know me anymore....
i would be happy even if we were juz frieds...i mean it doesnt matter so much anymore if i was with him or we're together or like...
i love this song so much^^
Coheed And Cambria:Wake Up
I'm going to ride this plane out of your life again.
I wish that I could stay but you argue.
More than this I wish you could've seen my face
In backseat staring out the window.
I'll do anything for you,
Kill anyone for you.
So leave yourself intact
'Cause I will be coming back.
In a phrase to cut these lips,
I love you.
The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest
Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
Until you decide to wake up.
I've earned through hope and faith
The curves around your face
That I'm the one you'll hold forever.
If morning never comes for either one of us,
Then this I pray to you wherever.
I'll do anything for you.
This story is for you.
('Cause I'd do anything you want me to... for you.)
I'll do anything for you,
Kill anyone for you.
So leave yourself intact
'Cause I won't be coming back.
In a phrase to cut these lips,
I loved you.
The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest
Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
Until you decide to wake up.
The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest
Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
'Til you decide to wake up.
hmmm..i wirote this months ago, but its like the latest sinc i havent been writing lately....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bittersweet Lust
LOVE again, like dragonfly glow,
so untouchable the dreams we make
only almost and never show
so different from the things i break
your so sweet, evening lights
think so hard, thoughts dismiss
kill me, kill me in the nights
i can make you cry for this
such a mortal sinner
lets enjoy it in every way
kiss me hard and deeper
i will have your heart to slay
and love again--breathe!
choke my fears into your soul
create another city myth
it never was--and ourhearts crawl...
its just so bitter. sweet. lust...
your love is breaking my heart
as i shiver, not to hurt your trust
lost again, i could never start.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
click image to see the music video! =)
This vacation’s useless
These white pills aren’t kind
I’ve given a lot of thought on this 13-hour drive
I missed the grinding concrete where we sat past 8 or 9
And slowly finished laughing in the glow of our headlights
I’ve given a lot of thought to the nights we use to have
The days have come and gone
Our lives when but so fast
I faintly remember breathing on your bedroom floor
Where I laid and told you but you sweared you loved me more
Do you care if I don’t know what to say
Will you sleep tonight or will you think of me
Will I shake this off pretend it’s all okay
That there someone out there who feels just like me
There is
Those notes you wrote me
I’ve kept them all
I’ll give a lot of thought of how to write you back this fall
With every single letter in every single word there
Will be a hidden message about a boy that’s
Loves a girl
Do you care if I don’t know what to say
Will you sleep tonight or will you think of me
Will I shake this off
Pretend it’s all okay that there’s someone out there who feels just like me
There is
Do you care if I don’t know what to say?
Will you sleep tonight or will you think of me
Will I shake this off
Pretend it’s all okay that there’s someone out there who feels just like me
~~when the veils are gone~~
~~lost in the light of the moon~~
Here I am
Lost in the light of the moon
That comes through my window
Bathed in blue
The walls of my memory
Divides the thorns from the roses
It's you and the roses
Touch me and I will follow
In your afterglow
Heal me from all this sorrow
As I let you go
I will find my way
When I see your eyes
Now i'm living
In your afterglow
Here I am
Lost in the ashes of time
But who owns tomorrow
In between
The longing to hold you again
I'm caught in your shadow
I'm losing control
My mind drifts away
We only have today
Touch me and I will follow
In your afterglow
Heal me from all this sorrow
As I let you go
I will find my way
I will sacrifice
Till that blinding day
When I see your eyes
Now i'm living
In your afterglow
When the veils are gone
As I let you go
As I let you go
Touch me and I will follow
In your afterglow
Heal me from all this sorrow
As I let you go
I will find my way
I will sacrifice
Now i'm living
In your afterglow
Bathed in blue
The walls of my memory
Divides the thorns from the roses
It's you who is closest
ahh!..damn i am having htis feeling again...i am doubting love...i guess some things can never be fixed.....and james is so i dunno...i dunno whats wrong with us.......its just doesnt seem right, our relship, and i dunno, i still feel like he doesnt care about us, or really love me.....he told me once that he is doubting me if i really love him and yes i told him that i love him, cuz that is how i feel...still i have a feeling that maybe he himself doesnt love me for real...... i am sad...tho i shudnt have a reason to be....l like james, he wants to do what is "right" or good...and he would put that first before anything...he is so fu*king egocentric, but htat is okay, cuz somehow, we are the same....only a little...i almost hate it that he loved shani (his ex) so much...and how i keep on comparing myself to her, though i know we are so different in every way....and i am sad that sumhow, i think james doesnt really love me, and i am scared to realized that maybe this love isnt really geniuine, and i am tricked by my own weakness, that i trust to much on humanity and LOVE..and then that feeling of betrayal....ahh how i hate it....
it seems im at the losing end....but at least i can love as much as i want....and right now...though i doubt LOVE, i will still love, cuz that is all there is about it....at least maybe i can make somehting out of nothign and quit making holes in the air....
james will never understand me....that is for sure....but he's so sweet, i like spending time with him.....
ah...i need to sleep.....i miss skateboarding so much...my shoulder is almost healed.......and i feel sleepy now....well i also feel lost in a way....nevermind! i am kinda happy...:-)
ich hab ihm ja sehr sehr lieb...aber es geht einfach nicht mehr...und ich fühle garnicht mal das er mich wirklich liebt...ich hab das gefühl als ob er seine ex mehr liebt hat...ich moechte weinen aber ich will nicht mehr...warum can er micht nicht so azeptieren? und warum fuehlei ch so als ob er sein ex besser liebt as mich..he doesnt treat me like he loves me at all....i dont know hwat to do......und obwohl er sagt das er micht liebt es ist anders jrtzt und ich verstehe das jah..ich war ja auch mal brokenhearted aber er gibt gar nicht mehr alles....and it hurts zu wissen wie anders er treat me...im feel sorry for him still...:( i hope he's happy now....i dont thing im coming back...i'll juz be killing myself.....:(