Shes Hates Me. She never wants to talk to me ever again. She told me, with her words "Everything will never be the same now, we cannot be friends." Her words are deadly weapons. then she hung up, not another word i had heard from her. The only thing i remember after that was crying, losing all my breath. I never meant to hurt anybody. Whats the big deal? Its her ex, yes i know, but...shes not with him anymore, and she hasnt been for months and months. Shes always talking about guyz she likes, every day its a new guy in her life. her running out and having sex all the time. I cried so much last night, i thought nothing could bring me up. He came over to my house though, and we hung out for a couple of hours, outside and just sat and talked, about everything. and it was the best night ever. how could a night be so horrible but be so great? I think i should stay with him, since she said that even if i left him, it doesnt change anything. There is nothing i can do there, but choose the path that is leading me to where i can be happiest at this moment. Everytime i look at him, i smile, and his eyes are something that makes me have to smile and turn my head away. Just saying his name gives me butterflys in my stomach. the sound of her name though, brings me to tears, of anger, and depression. If i stay with him, i will make matters worse, but i will be with him, if i leave him, she will still be mad at me, and i would lose him. Everything is not what it seems nowadays. No matter what there is going to be heart break. I dont know if i can take another for a long while. Tomorrow im going to panera with him to get some food. great restaurant, you should eat there. I chose the road that is leading me to somewhere i cannot see, but im hoping once i enter, it will be something i will want to remember.