the only thing i can imagine right now, is the pain in my tears. I had never imagined breaking his heart, i could never. and i didnt. but there is a feeling in the back of my gut, telling me, hes is gonna break my heart, in many pieces. he called me, and said he was confused. he had been talking to his ex, (his ex and my ex best friend) He said he doesnt want to hurt me, but i can tell, thats whats gonna happen. he is gonna leave me for her. all i want to say to her is, are you happy now? you got what you wanted, and thats all that matters. i think ill just die now. fuck, how could i have got into this one boy, he wasnt like any other boy i had ever dated. My throat hurts, just thinking about it. tomorrow my eyes are gonna be very red and puffy, but i wont tell anybody. they dont need to know, i wish i didnt even know. all boys in my life just turn into heart break. all them emo boys, that wear their clothes and are attractive in every single way, just like him, are heartbreakers. I couldnt look at him without having a smile on my face, and thats hard for me to find. i wouldve done almost anything for him, almost anything. how pathetic am i? the only thing in my life that i can enjoy now, is writing. i couldnt imagine leaving this place, you guyz leave good thoughts, and opinions. tell me what i should do. please tell me what i should do i cant just sit here, and sulk and cry and die. or can i, i could until every once of the feelings are drained away and i could just be emotionless. right now, he is going to see her. fucking wonderful. i sacrificed my relationship with a friend for him, and he goes running back to her. damnit, just fucking kill me now. i cant do this right now, i can think of only one thing to cheer me up right now. a cigarette.