Love of mine some day you will die But I'll be close behind I'll follow you into the dark No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white Just our hands clasped so tight Waiting for the hint of a spark If Heaven and Hell decide That they both are satisfied Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs If there's no one beside you When your soul embarks Then I'll follow you into the dark In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black And I held my tongue as she told me "Son fear is the heart of love" So I never went back If Heaven and Hell decide That they both are satisfied Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs If there's no one beside you When your soul embarks Then I'll follow you into the dark You and me have seen everything to see From Bangkok to Calgary And the soles of your shoes are all worn down The time for sleep is now It's nothing to cry about 'cause we'll hold each other soon In the blackest of rooms If Heaven and Hell decide That they both are satisfied Illuminate the No's on their vacancy signs If there's no one beside you When your soul embarks Then I'll follow you into the dark Then I'll follow you into the dark

So its almost halloween and the last time i updated it was almost 4th of july. Not too much happened within that time and thats kinda sad but hey what can i do? Hopefully moving out in a few months. I can't wait because it would be nice to not dread my days off due to being home and not asleep and not having a bedroom and having a family of 7 to deal with. AAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Sorry just had to get that out. Work seems to get worse and worse just when i think it wasn't possible. Stricter rules, more bullshit, less time to get work done, more work to be done, head managers there every night when they used to never be there. Its alot of things that are turning me into an escape artist. Oh if only my feet could take me faster than lightning.

Been awhile hasn't it. I thought I'd sweep some of the dust off this ol' sitdiary and inform/catalog my recent events. Hmm May came and went. Nothing too much happened there. I saw NIN (for the first time ever!!!) on June 5th which was an experience of unexplainable amazement. It was really fun and I'm so glad Sara could get out of work to go with me on account of Josh letting me know the day of that he wasn't going so I had a ticket to spare. The car ride there took longer than expected but thanks to a few well placed jazzhands and shouting, traffic was bearable. We missed the first band set but ohwell cause here comes Trent Reznor about 15 minutes later, kicking out heavy tunes and b-sides and covers.I never thought I'd hear Downward spiral tracks live besides Closer and Hurt but i heard neither of those that night. Instead I was treated to Mr. Self Destruct, Heresy, March of The Pigs, and the practically instrumental and eponymous Downward Spiral. RE-diculously amazing.. Janes Addiction was good too but meh. Let see what else happened...? Oh i barely work with the people I originally did because they've fired everyone at wal-mart. They are trying to force me to take a paycut so they can beat me like a mule for cheap when just a week ago they cut my hours. Looking for a new job soon cause this is getting ridiculous. Um oh yeah I did something horrible to my car one night while i was out to lunch and grinded it 50-50 like a skateboard down an unfinished road. Not intentionally. Low lying fog and night time lack of sunlight didn't help with that one. its funny cause i had just got a bonus at work (the biggest one out of the whole store. Don't ask me how) and luckily broke even. Plus I've finally invested in Netflix which also mean I'm getting addicted to their "Watch Movies Instantly" on my xbox 360. Plus I'm really getting into this show called Dead Like Me which is or was on Showtime. Interesting to say the least. Well thats all my brain can spill for now. BTW Tranformers 2 is ridiculously good if you're a fan of the old tv show. plus optimus dies.

I lost my wallet at work. When i went back to find/see if anyone found it, it wasn't in the aisle I worked last night and customer service said noone turned a wallet in or found one. So fucking great. Someone has all my shit right now and I'm foaming at the mouth.

So for the past week i had sinus issues that gave me all the symptoms of strept throat which was just awesome. Remember all those gorgeous days we had the past week? Yeah I missed out on those with a 102 fever and the lack of ability to swallow or breathe out of my nose. So everytime I'd force myself to sleep, I'd wake up in a puddle of drool with sand in my throat and well.. a 102 fever.I now strive to go to work on account of the fact I used up all my sick hours and have no choice but to go or be fired. I'm out of my rut to. Maybe its just the fever talking

I seem to have found myself in money troubles yet again. For once it's not my fault. Apparently what I thought was my current balance of $70 (as stated by an atm machine as well as the PNC website) had not been updated so I spend 15 of it, which I later find out was non-existant. PNC gave me not one but five bullshit charges in a day which somehow accumulated to $200 with no warning so I dropped them after paying the scrounging bastards. This puts me in a bind because though i have a new bank i have to think of all the places that were reliant on my PNC account and inform them of the switch. What adds to this awesome happening is how the week before last I only worked for 2 days out of the week. So I have a shitty paycheck on the horizon which means I'm living on credit again. Just when i almost had the sucker payed off too. To salvage this horrible week I did manage to find some decent tickets for nine inch nails and janes addiction this summer which pretty much makes me a very happy music junkie. I mean you can't beat a reunited Janes Addiction and NIN's (rumored) last tour. Also I'm probably gonna see manson and slayer later in the summer as well. I'll let you know about that though. I drink all night, and I sleep all day I drink all night, and I sleep all day You’re feeling your way through the dark, but you can’t get out You’re feeling your way through the dark, but you can’t get out You’re feeling your way through the dark, but you can’t get out You’re feeling your way through the dark, but you can’t get out I’ve got my limbs tied up and a blindfold across my eyes A feelin’ I know that I’m gonna have to tell a lie My hearts in my mouth, but my mind’s in a furry cup A feeling you know that I’m dreaming, I can’t wake up -Eighties matchbox b Line Distaster

I haven't been to work since last monday. I like the extended break but c'mon. I stay up all night and sleep at noon expecting some obligation of labor only to find out I have the night off yet again. It's really ridiculous. Luckily I found out tonight that I'm scheduled the next 5 days. So no free time till friday. bollocks.

She said oh my, I don't know why I was just busy watching everyone go by Outside the shite bar, and you're a red car Me and your girlfriend and your sister with the big scar I said oh Christ, I told you twice It's just not easy going through all these things thrice What's this I wonder, you drive a bluebird You got no money for the petrol, that's what I heard And it's all right, she'll be sucking fingers all night Wearing those shoes, oh any excuse to go to the gang fight And oh she's alright, everybody says she's uptight Sick in the head, first in the bed So easy to be Friday's nightmare I said oh no, oh please just go You got no eyelids and sweet ella loves me so She got my number, though I can't stand her I can't help diggin her a hope I guess I wonder And oh it's clear, you want me dear It would be easier if I was never here You got the money, and I got the reason, I'll stick around with you for just another season

Alittle bit of news here and there. First off, things changed yet again between me and beth. No big suprise there. I'm not sad about it, quite the contrary, I'm just bewildered that I let myself try to let that happen again. Obviously its never going to. Last nights show was pretty awesome. Well worth missing work over and I got to be up on stage for the first time in like years. It was good seeing people and talking to them after months of me being considered dead. By the way, I'm going to London. That is all.

For the past week I've been killing myself at the gym. It makes me feel wretched and amazing at the same time. Endorphins have replaced my need for cigarettes almost completely. The bad side is that I feel fucked up constantly and my immune system got obliterated so now I have one of the worst colds I've had in years. I'm striving to lose 50 pounds and to also increase my strength. I want to be an all around healthy person.

All I can say is that my life is pretty plain I like watchin' the puddles gather rain And all I can do is just pour some tea for two and speak my point of view But it's not sane, It's not sane I just want some one to say to me I'll always be there when you wake Ya know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today So stay with me and I'll have it made And I don't understand why I sleep all day And I start to complain that there's no rain And all I can do is read a book to stay awake And it rips my life away, but it's a great escape escape......escape......escape...... All I can say is that my life is pretty plain ya don't like my point of view ya think I'm insane Its not sane......it's not sane

On Monday I will be 20. No longer a teenager. Its a pretty weird feeling. All last week I was pretty grouchy about it but now its like whatever. I go through this almost every year. I'm not a birthday person i suppose. I'm not expecting too much

Today I pretty much did anything I could think of that there was to do in middletown in winter with Beth. I had fun, it was an adventure. The lowest points were maybe walmart and burger king because both were pretty blah but the other sub-adventures made my month. Playing pool and the secret base exploring were definitely the highlights. I couldn't think of any better way to spend the day. I hope she had as much fun as I did. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SESbd8Fm2JE

Pushing thru the market square, so many mothers sighing News had just come over, we had five years left to cry in News guy wept and told us, earth was really dying Cried so much his face was wet, then I knew he was not lying I heard telephones, opera house, favourite melodies I saw boys, toys electric irons and T.V.'s My brain hurt like a warehouse, it had no room to spare I had to cram so many things to store everything in there And all the fat-skinny people, and all the tall-short people And all the nobody people, and all the somebody people I never thought I'd need so many people A girl my age went off her head, hit some tiny children If the black hadn't a-pulled her off, I think she would have killed them A soldier with a broken arm, fixed his stare to the wheels of a Cadillac A cop knelt and kissed the feet of a priest, and a queer threw up at the sight of that I think I saw you in an ice-cream parlour, drinking milk shakes cold and long Smiling and waving and looking so fine, don't think you knew you were in this song And it was cold and it rained so I felt like an actor And I thought of Ma and I wanted to get back there Your face, your race, the way that you talk I kiss you, you're beautiful, I want you to walk We've got five years, stuck on my eyes Five years, what a surprise We've got five years, my brain hurts a lot Five years, that's all we've got We've got five years, what a surprise Five years, stuck on my eyes We've got five years, my brain hurts a lot Five years, that's all we've got We've got five years, stuck on my eyes Five years, what a surprise We've got five years, my brain hurts a lot Five years, that's all we've got We've got five years, what a surprise We've got five years, stuck on my eyes We've got five years, my brain hurts a lot Five years, that's all we've got Five years Five years Five years Five years

to suck. I am tired and I'm sure grocery will be shorthanded. Don't care too much about the superbowl. My team didn't make it. I'm thinking about making thursday my next day off since it'll probably be the only one I'm allowed to have. Ugh

I made that decision a few days ago by spilling half my paycheck into a zune. Well worth it, even if it was a headache trying to setup. Hungry I shall be feeding on condiments and scrounging for change. Can anyone spare a quarter?

My girl, my girl, don't lie to me, Tell me where did you sleep last night. In the pines, in the pines, Where the sun don't ever shine. I would shiver the whole night through. My girl, my girl, where will you go? I'm going where the cold wind blows. In the pines, in the pines, Where the sun don't ever shine. I would shiver the whole night through Her husband, was a hard working man, Just about a mile from here. His head was found in a driving wheel, But his body never was found. My girl, my girl, don't lie to me, Tell me where did you sleep last night. In the pines, in the pines, Where the sun don't ever shine. I would shiver the whole night through. My girl, my girl, where will you go? I'm going where the cold wind blows. In the pines, in the pines, Where the sun don't ever shine. I would shiver the whole night through. My girl, my girl, don't lie to me, Tell me where did you sleep last night. In the pines, in the pines, Where the sun don't ever shine. I would shiver the whole night through. My girl, my girl, where will you go? I'm going where the cold wind blows. In the pines, the pines, sunshine. I shiver the whole, night through

Year after year I end up having noone to share christmas with.. excluding family. I have this weird feeling that its going to continue like that. Well for what its worth, merry christmas.

Consists of an annoying job and sleep. Thats about it. I hate winter.

Today will be the end of my first weeek and due to lack of patience to write it all out word for word, I'll make a long story short: Walmart has stolen my soul and brainwashed me and the new me is happy with that. Hahahaha. Who'da thunk?