So..., I'm at school again and have nothing to do. I guess I'm recovering from this whole thing with Nicole, but I don't realy know. I still love her more than anyone right now, but this pain is still juzt too great. My B-day is comming up on October 2nd, and Nicole's is on October 5th, so I'm thinkin I'm gonna call her. I eve3n though about byeing her a ring for her B-day. I know I'm pathetic, but I can't help it. I love her so fuckin much, I juzt don't understand why she does this shit to me. I juzt feel like I would do anything to get back with her right now. She's soooo...fuckin beautiful, and it's like everytime I'm around her it's like nothing could ever go wrong. I don't wanna juzt be friends with her though. I mean realy I don't think that I can. I can't deal with not touching her and holding her hand and kissing her. I can't be another fuckin Codie to her. She has him, and he's her bitch. I can't be her bitch. That's juzt not the way I work. I mean, yes, I worship her, but not in the way that Codie does. He does it stupidly. He'll let her walk all over him, when I can only take so much. I juzt wanna fuckin see her again and hear her voice tell me that she loves me. I juzt want her to love me the way I love her!