6/23/06 Hey Daddy!, I love you sooo...muches Daddy!!!!!!! I tried calling you a bounch of times and ended up spending a dollar and 50 cents on it lol...but I left you a voicemail. You are my everything! I can't be without you Daddy! and I want be without you! I'm not even going home early...juzt sitting here weighting on 5:00 and wishing you were here holding me. I wish we could juzt be like we were That Saturday again! That was the second most happiest day of my life!!! (The first being when I had Louie.) I remember how much we talked that night, and how it felt to be wrapped in your arms late at night outside under the moon and stars. You compleated me then as you compleate me now. I was so happy! As we were talking we completly understood eachother. Our souls were still as one from the love we had juzt made...we were completly connected and we remain so even as I grow distant on the outside, our souls are still embracing, ever strongly. I love how you know me and how I know you. I love how we can communicate at most times without even speaking! I love how you look into my eyes and see all that there is of me. i'm afraid I'm falling, so fast and so violently that not even a superhero could save me..., but I know my Daddy will alwayz be here to catch me, and save me, protect me from the world, and shelter me with love!!! I believe it kills me as much as much as it does you that you haven't seen our son in over a month. It fucking kills me to think that Louie might forget you, when ya'll were so close...when you had been there for him since he was a little less than three months old. Louie will be 7 months in three days...and you never even got a chance to see him at all when he was 6 months old...we will never get that time back and it makes me want to scream! Louie has changed and grown so much in juzt this past month and his father could no tbe there to watch him change and we don't even know how much longer it will be before he is able to see his Daddy. And Louie loves you Daddy!, he realy does! Most people don't give babies enough credit, but I know when he is in pain and I see the longing and extream desire in his eyes to be held by his Daddy! The only male he has to turn to is that fucked up excuse for a father of mine...and it kills me and eats at my soul a little more each day to see Louie, OUR son, start to want to be held by him because he needs his Daddy and his Daddy can't be there! I'm not trying to hurt you at all Daddy!. I swair!!! I juzt want to let you know how I've been suffering, how I've been preying to God every day and night to kill that fucker, not only now for what he did to me all these years and how he almost hurt Louie, but so that Louie wont be able to bond even more to a wicked, hellish deamon because he needs his Daddy's big strong arms around him to save him from all evil and wrong doings, when his Mommy's arms are too weak. Louie is so much like me that it's scarry sometimes. I can't alone give him all that he needs, Daddy. Louie needs to be delt with sometimes in the exact way that I need to. He needs to be dominated but in a loving way. I can't dominate...you should know this by now. I'm a passivest by heart and by nature. I can't have Louie turn to a tormentor juzt so he can have that sence of strong guidence, when he could have the best guidence in the world from his Daddy, who I know would never lead him wrong! I know these things hurt Daddy, but forgive me! Forgive me bacause I have to tell you...because I have to let you know what has been tormenting me by day and haunting me by night. Our Family has to remain strong! Our love will forever bind us!!!!!!! I love you Daddy and Louie loves his Daddy too 4~alwayz!!!!!!! I love you Daddy!!!!!!! Love 4~alwayz, Christine Danielle Chavis 6/20/06 Yea! I'm so happy I got to talk to you Daddy!!!!!!!.....You gotta finish reading the other email before you go back to class though. Louie wants to tell Daddy that he loves him: jum8hnjhrfvgb xsh t5i jkjghj ...yep that's what that means lol...well I'll let you get back to work Daddy. I love you Daddy and Louie loves you too 4~alwayz!!!!!!! I love you Daddy!!!!!!! 6/20/06 Hey Daddy!, I love you sooooooo....muches!!!!!!! Sorry about not comming to school today...don't realy know when I'll be able to come back either....this shit is realy starting to piss me off! Fucker went to a Dr. appointment so I got a chance to talk to you, but I know your in class, so I desided to juzt write you an email and hopefull you will get it. I realy wanted to see you today Daddy, realy bad! I hope that I can tomorrow! It sux ass that I'm not in class too, because I can't work on the internet classes while i'm supose to be in class, so I have to weight until 5:00, to begin trying to even make up the time I missed today. But anymwayz Daddy, sorry for bitching about me not getting to go to school...it's juzt that I'm trying so hard to get our family together 4~alwayz, and it seems like the whole world is comming against us. But I know, as alwayz Daddy, that neither one of us will back down and that we will alwayz be strong and fight for our family! I juzt alwayz need you holding me up so that I can be strong as well Daddy, because without Louie and you I am nothing! And I realy think that is the way it should be. Well Daddy, I guess I betta go...I miss you so much!!!!!!! It's killing me to not be with me, but then again I know that yo are alwayz here holding me 4~alwayz! I love you Daddy and Louie loveshis Daddy too 4~alwayz!!!!!!! I love you Daddy!!!!!!! Love 4~alwayz, Christine Danielle Chavis 6/19/06 Please get back online Daddy! I want to talk to you so bad!!! I love you Daddy!!!!!!! 6/19/06 Damnet! You signed off as soon as I signed on lol...can't talk on the phone with you...so please get back on! I love you!!!!!!! 6/19/06 Hey Daddy! I don't realy know what to say lol...I juzt wanted to let you know that I love you more than anything and to see if your cell phone worked and you can see when I write you emailes. Anymawayz, I'm sooooo...happy that I got to see you today Daddy, even if it was only a few minunts...a few minunts in heaven is worth an eturnity of hell. Well I tried to call you on your house phone a minunet ago but it was buissy and so I thought you we're on line...but I see your not lol...So I thought I'd write you an email...and then I will do some classes...I wish you were on here to tell me you love me too though...oh well ...I guess I better get to work lol...oh yeah and you will be proud of me because today I got 3 chapters and 2 test done...I'm so happy yea! It brings our family that much closer together...and I hope you have your insurence when I next talk to you because I realy want our family to be together for a least a few hours this weekend!!!!!!! I love you soooooo....muches Daddy and Louie loves you too 4~alwayz!!!!!!! I love you Daddy!!!!!!! Love 4~alwayz!!!, Christine Danielle Chavis 5/9/06 mkteun478n438ju89t5h7guouhnn , nlhukhukolju8okjmujtuki.vjuhkl,l ,ybmk, ol,8u9cfkjiciifirm um,lz8umm,l jtcvmujmlk,vb.ki;ki;.eijyl;prreypk um.,ml.,v nh,vgfn.,c j ,..