These wounds will never heal... ...I have accepted the fact that, mentally I will never be the same again, or ever. But I have also come to face that even though my hate for some people, even ones I do not know, seem to become massive, I have received some of the best words of encouragement and wisdom. I can not express them in words the impact they had on my own thoughts or feelings because that can not be done at all... So today, dearest John, who is now appointed as my 'trainer' in getting me to excercise since the doctor says I need to do more of it, got me outside almost the entire length of the day, a rare occasion for myself. I feel rather accomplished in that small fact. Adam and Jordan were over and we played some basketball, where I have no skill what so ever except to use the tallness of me and get the rebounds and snatching the ball from the shortness of them. Then, came bouncing around on a trampoline playing some odd game called 'Alligator.' o.O But there was some sexy guy working on our neighbor's roof that I continued to stare at. It really is unfair how one can only look and hope for members of the opposite speech to talk to them, it is a sad thing to confess, really it is. Today is Tom's birthday, he is sixty years old as of the date of today. Considering the fact that my mother is 40 and he is just reaching 60. It really is enough to make one shudder is it not? Or am I the only one who sees something wrong with the two of them dating? I got used to the age factor by now seeing as how since we moved down here they have been, but what makes it even more odd is the fact they never re-married. There really is not much I can do about it as many surely do not listen to me. Days until AFI Concert: Ten ---With something to think about, I will be leaving you now. ...There is just too much that time can not erase.