Feel one thousand pains, but one is receiving a bloody invitation... Days until I arrive in Philadelphia: Five, how amazing is that?! --- The day of Monday has passed - I really do dislike the weather here, honestly. The temperature has gotten into the low 70's thanks to the rain that was brought. Why can it not just stay the same constant temperature so it can stop bugging me?! Yes, I blame...GOD! -slaps knee- I am quite confused over something - people say that your home and family are the greatest things you have that they will always be there for you. Today proved to be quite the opposite really, by 5th period today I have no idea what came over me I was just... not "dead" and I could not sit still or shut up and it carried on like that for the rest of the day and the bus ride. Not even five minutes into my arrival home my mother is already getting onto me about something and I go off to my room to write these emotions and feelings down as apparently that is why I continue to write my words down in my personal journal, the thing that no one's eyes will ever come across. Yes, so that so-called good mood I had that made me all hyper, I would coin the term happy but I really think it was not that emotion, was gone upon me walking inside. Then comes the usual batter to the music I choose to listen to and then Nick makes another stupid comment about myself and I know I should just ignore him and not make remarks back to him but mentally I cannot control that and so then we get into yet another argument at each other and who is the one that is at fault for the WHOLE thing? Well, Jess is, of course. Did you expect Nick, the worshipped child by my mother, to take the fall? GRRRRR! Yes, so maybe my house, siblings, mother and Thomas are the cause for the downfalls I have at times. Well, one of the causes I must say. Since I am going to make this another damn entry of complaints I might as well rant my bloody head out right now and get such things out, in the technical sense really. To the people who have gotten that little thing off of Power Web Music - I HATE YOU FOR IT! Yes, it makes this already stupid internet go even slower as I attempt to look over your entries, it has on many accounts made this computer freeze and you all just HAVE to go and be like everyone else, as someone must have started the whole thing and keep downloading them. Half the times, I ne'er hear the actual music as it either freezes as I have already said or it takes the stupid dial-up internet that I have much too long to load and when it does that NOTHING else will begin to work. Curse you stupid blighters for making me go through a waiting process like that, I do not have enough patience to deal with such things. The question I ask is this: Why do you you use such a thing? Why to you put it up on the diary to begin with? Another rant of Jess - Are people so fucking brainwashed by Christianity that when I mention the fact that "God isn't real" they are quick to defend the religion and practically force their so-called great "God" onto my beliefs. What happens if the little Church shirts that I see ALL over school with their stupid little bible phrases offend me? What am I, a strong-willed no preference to ANY religion supposed to do then? But yet, when I wore a shirt that said - 'God told me to tell you: He doesn't exist' I get told to replace it with another t-shirt. I should file for discrimination against religion or something. Why is it that my school has four frickin groups for christians but there are none for any of the other religions? You so-called Christians say everyone is created equal by god but then why the fuck do you NOT accept other religions as easily because they are not your own? Or homosexuals for all that matters? Or the "freaks"? Or mentally retarded? WHY??!! -sigh- Yes, that is so great to at least scream at a computer screen, it relieved something inside of myself. Oh, I can see the comments now..go right ahead my dear offended people. Yell at me for criticizing your beliefs and ways of life. I will continue to let you think that your words have any impact on me. May you think, because without it we are nothing... I offer grace, I offer blood, I offer everything 'till my heart is crystal clear...