~428~ I hated it for You

Doug, my non-stalker. I've gotten to know him better. He's reallyyy spiffy. And funny. And nice. Oooh, is he nice. I mean personality-wise PEOPLE. So, now the only thing I know about him wont be just that he's hott =p heh I never once fucking said that I dont love him anymore. NEVER. HE put that in to context. Maybe, I wasnt really in love with him to begin with, but he sure as hell did make me happy. And he did make feel good, and always gave me a fucking reason to get out of bed in the morning. And to say that I was the one to make him lazy, is complete BULLSHIT. He fucking told me I had nothing to do with it, if I made you lazy then why the FUCK did you stay with me for so damn long? What? *I* was lying? WHAT ABOUT YOU?? Talking shit about me, to my FRIEND. What the fuck is that about?? But whatever, I'm sure you'd have something to say that shit anyway. Its okay if you dont want to talk to me anymore, even though you did say if we broke up you wouldnt be able to have me out of your fucking life, well here. I'll help you. I wont be in your cowdamn life anymore. If thats how you want it to be, if you dont want to talk to me anymore, fine. Here. Goodbye ~two words one choice no regrets~
Read 3 comments
You were never in love with me? You said you were, so thats what I mean when i say you dont love me anymore.....

And I still dont mean you made me lasy Aimee, I still meant what i said, you didnt make me lazy, I made myself lazy. I never said YOU made me lazy, I just said that I got lazy when I got with you, which is the same thing i said when I told you it wasnt your fault. It's still not your fault.
And i dont know what you mean about talking shit about you behind your back.... Yeah, sure, I talked to Shayna about my and our PROBLEMS a few times, but I didnt talk shit.... Talking shit would suggest I said i hated you or something. I never talked SHIT about you, I said I still love you for god sakes..... You did comment to my journal either right before or right after you wrote this entry right? So you had to have read mine.

And..... Maybe I do want to keep you in my life..... Maybe I do wanna talk to you.... Maybe I just cant face you right this moment....... What i said that night when i said i didnt wanna talk to you ever again... was out of sheer anger and frustration.... Thats all....... I do wanna talk to you again and be your friend, I just...... cant face you right now.... You wanna know the truth? I feel like ive failed you, like I couldnt make you happy.