i want to write. something has been tickling my mind, lately. i am struggling to express what i need to, though. i am very tempted to open the bottle of gallo in the fridge. i should be able to listen to tom waits without feeling the need to become that person i was. without feeling the need to self-destruct. that alarm i spoke of in the last entry seems to have taken a day off. but my actions are still undone, i am just very bored, very cold and very lonely. and i know alcohol would help with all these symptoms. maybe, i'll go make some tea, instead. yes. i'll also switch song (tonight, we're gonna give it 35% just started to play. oh, fuck), i shouldn't let music affect me the way it does.