I wrote an entry and it did not save. I am leaving in two days. I am not excited. I have not eaten in three. Blair. Casey and Spencer. DJ boy loves me and it frustrates me. I am intoxicated and alone. Kenny is mean and Mark does not remember me. Little things like this shouldn't bother me. I probably would not have all the guy friends that I have now if I was single, despite getting along better with them than girls. My boyfriend is wasting away, I don't know where he is. The core/base of who I thought I was has been completely shattered. It is terrifying to realise how much one preson helps define you. It makes me feel very dependant. I am always and still scared of dying. There is no magic, screw that expression. Fuck Montreal, but never.