This is fucking bullshit. I should be having a great day. I should be fucking happy. But Im not. I was right, and I cried to my sister about it. I didnt want to be right. I didnt want to think that Im really not even important. But I see now that Im not. What is the point of being with a person if you just feel even more alone then when you started out without them with you. I hate sitting by myself, searching my mind for something, ANYTHING, to explain why its like this. Whats changed so much that I dont even matter anymore. I want to matter. I want to matter so bad that it eats me up inside. I hate being vulnerable to people. Because this is what happens... Im totally being fucked over in all aspects of life. I dont understand what is wrong with me. Am I that horrible of a person? That annoying? That ugly? That much of a shitty personality? What is wrong with me? Why cant I be important to someone for so much longer? Why isnt forever, in any aspect of the word, real? I want to dive off of the highest cliff. I want to know that each and every bone in my body is breaking, but feel no pain. Just remain completely numb. I would fall so low. So far down that no one could find me. And no one would help. Because that feeling would be equal to how I am feeling at this exact moment in time.