Ok, so Saves the Day in Cleveland sucked my ass. If you like Saves the Day and are planning on going to one of their concerts anytime soon, I urge you to reconsider. Saves the Day came on and only played ten songs...only two of which were not off of their new CD. Their whole show lasted a half an hour at best. I heard their show was the same in Pittsburgh. If I would have payed for the tickets, I would have been really pissed. However, because I have friends that work for the radio station here, I got to go for free because I got put on the list. But the short play of Saves the Day was not the only reason the night started out sucking severe ass. We got lost. My roommate is from Cleveland and goes to the Agora theatre all the time, but he still got lost on the way. That kinda sucked, but its not like I can be too pissed. I have about the worst sense of direction in the world. I mean, I could probably get lost taking a shower. After the show, we went to Denny's with a bunch of my roommates friends. They were cool and they told me a few new things that I found quite hilarious. For instance, you know how moms' asses typically have this certain look to them(you know what I'm talking about, whether you realize it or not)? Well, at first we were calling it a MommaCrotch, which was funny, but then someone said that it was called a FUPA. What is a FUPA you might ask? Fat Upper Pussy Area. Fucking hilarious. They also told me about the most horrible game ever. Its called brick. All you need to play this game is a car and a brick. You just drive down the street and see if you can hit someone with a brick. If you miss, you have to get out apologize for not hitting them, and retrieve the brick. No, we didn't play it. Its still pretty funny, though. However, I recommend playing the game that my friends and I used to play. Its called "Fire in the hole," and its a lot less dangerous. All that Fire in the Hole requires is a car. Heres how you play: Just go to your local fast food joint go through the drive through area. Order the biggest drink they have. Then, when you get the drink at the window yell "Fire in the Hole!" and hurl your drink back at the drive-thru operator. Make sure that you drive away quickly after your throw, otherwise you risk being caught. I love that game. Its just about the worst thing that can happen to someone while working in fast food. I mean, think about it. Those people have to work all day and they probably don't have an extra uniform. This means that they will have to go through their entire shift sticky and disgusting. Not to mention the fact that they will have to mop up whatever doesn't get on them. Its the perfect way to shit on someone's day(yes, I am the anti-christ). Anyhow, I didn't get back here until like 5 in the morning last night. Good times. Though the concert did suck, the music was still good. I think I'm going to start going to a lot more emo concerts. There were sooo many hot girls there. All I would have to do is squeeze out some tears and just mimic some of the lyrics with my mouth, and I could easily pick up a girl. Ok, so thats a terrible thing to do too(thats why I didn't do it), but all is fair in love and war. That in combination with the fact that I had nowhere to take a girl even if I picked one up hindered me from actually working my game. What would I say? "Yeah, you wanna go back to my room? Its only two hours away." I don't try to pull any of that shit. I'm straight up honest with the girls I pick up(not that I actually pick up girls that often). I don't make any promises about love or the morning after. If they want to put me on a white horse, thats their own fault. I don't tease and I don't lead anyone on. Really, if I actually like a girl, I don't try to have sex with her the first time I meet her. I don't want to ruin anything because if I really like her, I'm going to keep trying to be with her in the future and I don't want to ruin that with some one night stand. Lately, I've actually realized that sex isn't all that important to me. I mean, sure I love it and I would do it all the time if I could, but its really just side-goal. I enjoy connecting with someone of the opposite sex. To me, thats worth far more than any orgasm. I'm just happy to curl up and spoon with a girl, most of the time. Just the feeling I get when I'm laying next to a girl is enough for me. I love the way women smell. I love all of the fruity stuff with names I can't even pronounce that women put in their hair. I love looking into a woman's eyes and seeing them gaze back into mine. I love that soft feel a woman's skin. I love that exiting feeling that maybe, just maybe, she is thinking the exact same thing I am thinking. I love the thought that there is someone out there who feels the same way I feel, even if it is just for a second. Theres a very comforting thing to that. Man, this entry is all over the place. But thats how I am. I can't make up my mind. There is a big part of me that just wants to fuck and not give a fuck about anyone or anything. Yet at the same time, there is a part of me that longs to connect with a woman, that longs to love someone to the fullest, that wants to be something better for someone else. There is a part of me that wants to piss away my life on sex, drugs, and rock and roll. The other half wants to marry, wants to raise a family, and wants to provide a life for someone else. There is a part of me that thinks that death is coming and I've got to live life while I still can and there is a part of me that wants to try to build something lasting, something that will stay here forever. There is a huge part of me that says that there is no God and everything is meaningless, but as much as I hate to admit it, there is still a small part of me that wants to believe in something again. Theres a rather large part of me that doesn't give a fuck about anyone other than myself, but there is still another part that wants to go out and help people to live a full life. It seems I have two conflicting sides inside myself. If someone was to label them, you might be able to call them the good side and the evil side, but that would depend on your deffinitions of both or a belief in good and evil in the first place(which I don't think I have). Anyhow, these sides seem to constantly be battling eachother inside of me. Sometimes the "good" side wins and I do something that could perhaps better my life and sometimes the "bad" side wins and I just spend my time trying to fuck up my existence. I think that explains why my entries are so sporatic. It all depends on which side wins the power of controlling me. I don't feel as though I will ever be free of these sides, but yet I am not trully enslaved by them either. Blah. Again, I write too much. I'm done.