I have a problem with authority because authority has always had a problem with me. Fuck ’em. After a night of heavy drinking at DJ’s 21st birthday party, Mark and I decided to take a cruise in his dune buggy to see if we could locate our friend Sylas who had decided in a drunken stupor at 6 in the morning to take the 10 mile walk home in the rain. We didn’t get more than 2 miles away when we got pulled over by some fucking cop on a power trip. He claimed that we had not come to a full stop at a stop sign we had just turned from. He noticed we were not wearing seatbelts and asked Mark(the driver) why he had taken his off. He said that he had taken it off when he pulled over to the side to reach for his insurance. I had no such excuse for not wearing mine. So the next thing I know, I’m being called into the back of the police cruiser to speak with the cop while Mark waits in the car. The cop proceeds then to ask me why I wasn’t wearing my seatbelt. I said I didn’t even know where the seatbelts were on this thing (even though I did, but it was a pain in the ass to try and dig them out from under the seat so I just chose not to wear it). This is where the bullshit happened. He tells me that Mark is getting a warning for rolling to a stop and not wearing his seatbelt. I, however, am getting a fucking citation for not wearing my seatbelt. That’s right, ME not Mark, THE DRIVER, was getting a ticket. He says to me, “We’re on a ‘No Tolerance’ policy right now and we’re writing tickets to everyone we find without a seatbelt right now. [Here’s the kicker] I’m SURE you’ve seen the commercials.” Then, he then begins to tell me that he knows my dad and my family really well. He hands me a ticket for 48 fucking dollars and tells me to say hi to my dad for him. FUCK YOU!!! I HATE COPS. THEY ALL FUCKING NEED TO DIE. YOU FUCKING PIG. I HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE! EAT SHIT AND BURN BITCH! GODDAMNIT!!!!!AHHHHH!!! At least, that’s what I was thinking at the time. BUT I swallowed my anger and got out of the car and left. The pig had done me on all fronts and blown a kiss to me as I left. Just then, I got a call from Sylas saying he’d been home for over an hour. Well fuck me. So justice was done today. The police once again triumphed and provided a valuable contribution to society. Some real serving and protecting happened today. It’s a good thing he took care of that horrible threat I was posing to society. I’m a changed man, let me tell you. Totally rehabilitated. I’ll never not wear a seatbelt again. I’ll think again the next time I want to endanger the lives of EVERYONE around me. It sure is a good thing that officer was there to set me straight. GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT I COULD’VE DONE IF HE HADN’T BEEN THERE. Christ, I could’ve killed myself (I hope you can sense the sarcasm because I’m laying it on pretty thick right here). Whose business is it anyways if I want to be safe? It’s my fucking life, isn’t it? Whether or not I want that added bit of security that a seatbelt provides is my own fucking choice. The state should not be making that choice for me. It’s not like ME not having a seatbelt is going to harm ANYONE, but myself. But no, I forgot, we’re in America. Here we don’t allow FREEDOM OF CHOICE. Maybe it’s just me, but I just don’t think it makes sense. My own safety is my own fucking business. The real reason I believe that I got a ticket, and I am sincerely starting to believe this, is simply because I have long hair. Mark looks like a short-haired model-for-society young man, dressed in stylish, but conservative clothes and I’m sitting there in jeans, a studded belt, a tight black t-shirt, and a beanie with my wild bangs and locks hanging from all sides. In his eyes, I’m a punk, a stoner, a fucking communist, a true threat to society. I’m not saying that this was the entire reason I got the ticket, but I DEFFINITELY feel I was profiled. And THAT is total BULLSHIT and I for one am sick of it. "This next record is dedicated to some personal friends of mine. The LAPD. For every cop that has ever taken advantage of somebody, beat 'em down or hurt 'em, because they got long hair , listen to the wrong kinda music, whatever they thought was the reason to do it, I'd like to take a pig out here in this parking lot and shoot 'em in they're motherfuckin' face."