wow this had been a really really long week since ive updated...well...ill start witht the happy first...last night went and saw siolwork as i lay dying and killswitch engage in grand rapids,good show...last friday my mom called me with bad news...my friend brent died,out in cali,and he was supposed to come back this friday...that was a total shock...i didnt know him for as long as i knew mike or matt but he was still a really good friend...a best friend i guess :EDIT: you know life is too short to become a "partier" and thats just a nice way to say alcoholic and druggie...im done parting no more of this ok friday and saturday lets get drunk shit,theres not enough alchohol or weed on earth to make shit better...i mean why does anyone drink or do drugs,to get away from reality,when you do that to much you dont have a grip on reality,and a grip that your on the virge of losing your house or kids or even life...sure eveyone needs to live a little sometimes but not ritually every month or week or day...im fucking done for along time...what is the piont this is just another thing to drink about or smoke about and that just keeps you down...you dont get anyway and sometimes even hold your place...i mean 20 years...thats 2.5 more for me,its just not worth it...i dont need a mental dependancy to where oh i had a bad day ill go drink 50 bucks worht of shit and ill be all better...fuck that,i mean everyday you could turn into a bad day,oh i won the lottery today,but i was held up in heavy traffic...im gunna prove a piont this weekend...im still going to bud bash,but im not gunna smoke or drink a thing