i had the most depressing day. and it won't end. i wanted it to end. i wanted to sleep and wake up with a whole new day before me. but no. people force me to go with them to stupid little group activities like going to dennies. Yeah it's three a.m. and i'm going to eat some crappy food at a crappy food place called Dennies, and try to get along with people. speaking of getting along with people. jon, the guy i have sex with, just told me that he found a girl in Wisconsin. He'd rather be with her. But our time together wasn't wasted. Oh, on. i made him sexual confortable so that he could be with other women. yeah. i'm so happy. i wish i wish so much to wake up find my life a bad dream. part of me believes though this is reality. this is my life. and i think how much i wish i could die. so i wish that i could wake up and find my life a bad dream. i really wish i was happy. i want happiness. but i can't hold on to it. -fucked up me