i didn't go to dennies last night. it was cool. i went to sleep instead. it was cool. i didn't wake up till 11 a.m. it was cool. it's so cold, my car won't start. and i get to drive my step mom's cool car. cool. i feel good. last night was so depressing. i didn't have anyone to talk to. that guy, jon, is a jerk. he went to see that girl in wisconsin. he came back and i had to call him up and ask him how he was and ask about us. i asked him if he wanted to come pick me up and we could hang out. he told me he didn't want to pick me up if i was planning on making out or anything like that. he really does love that girl in wisconsin. he told me that they kissed and i helped him kiss her. i made him more confortable kissing girls, and just being with women. that was messed up. and it is. my friends and his friends were telling me that he would choose me over her. i believed them. i'm sure i loved him. he rejected me. it makes me sad. BUT FUCK IT. he makes me feel sad, and like a whore. i need to move on. my life is scary right now. which is why i have this diary. i think that writing about my problems will help me deal with my situations. i'm still here. and i'm doing to deal with it.