i [think] i'm going to cry. [tears welling up] you know..well, no, you don't. i would tell you..but, it's so hard. i'm watching old episodes of The Addams Family...now i want to watch the movie. i [heart] gomez. it's so sad that the guy who played him in the movies died. [sad] my weekend was fast-paced, and not over still. i was supposed to go to work, but, i didn't [don't, still] feel well..and i'm just, out of it. i want to move. i want to fucking move and get out and watch all my movies through hours of rainy nights. i want to make cookies, and eat the dough [not good for you!!]...i haven't been eating much lately..even stuff i LOVE! like, the Chicken Ceasar Pita from Chili's...or french toast for breakfast, i don't finish. what is wrong with me?! i'm so tired. this month has been been replete with major ups and major downs. i really want a hug. so i'll hug myself, cause no one is here. [hug] there, eff that. my hugs suck. i think i'm going to walk to grant's and um, talk to kelley, or talk to laurie. i wonder what she's up to? hmm. we'll see. my brain is spinning, my mind is reeling, my eyes are burning, my lips are dry, my hair is frizzy and stupid, my back is in pain, and im falling apart. why can't i get the guy to get his act together? how can i get him to see how important this is? doesn't he care? i hate to say this, but, i think not. which means: do i have to find a roommate? is this going to ultimately leave me single? [tears] i don't know what is going on. i wish i did. i suppose i see the light at the end of the tunnel, too bad it's a fucking train. let us go swing dancin, shall we? which reminds me, i need to rent SwingKids. and pay blockbuster!! ack! [slaps face]